the joy of life

I have been reviewing what i have written here in my past,
it is important for i approach a strange and terrible anniversary.
Seven years ago, i was in the process of losing conscious thought,
due to a shunt place to relieve excess fluid formed from my operation.
The shunt worked too well and continued to drain much needed fluid.
The problem was resolved when i collapsed one day out on a walk,
but from that time on, my memories and sense of time are distorted and portions simply gone.
This is too important to write in verse, tho it feels like i want to.
This was a terrible time, for i have no idea what went on during that month.
It is frightening still.
To the good part, the problem is in the past, but some of the symptoms continue.
There feels like an unraveling of memory, so that what happened yesterday or the week before becomes more distant and what happened years ago seems much closer.
The years of events in the past are distorted...did i retire in 2011 or 2012 or did my mom pass in 2010 or 2011.  Did my operation occur in 2007 or 2008?  But i know my dad passed in 1996 and we had a major move when i was 7.
Go figure.
Facing these fears, these confusions are real, but all tests show that my short term (as in minutes and hours) are fine and there is no sign of other kinds of degenerative disease.

Writing all this, why the title for this post?
Because i have survived.
I have learned not just small lessons,
but great ones.
I searched for a long time after this for purpose
and i am surprised how simple that answer was...
It is to live in each moment
and give what has been given you,
without thought or concern.

So yes there is much joy in my life at this time.

Christmas review

It is getting on to that time,
a bittersweet time,
for it is after Thanksgiving now,
but before Christmas.
I went back,
looking to see what i have written in the past,
and memories flooded me.
There are so many good things,
so many wonderful people,
that are no longer here.
I feel some what lost,
grasping for what i can no longer have.
Family and friends seem long gone away,
that is bitter.
The memories of the joys we shared,
that is sweet.
The celebration with the ones i love now,
this is the important thing.
Live now,
not in the past,
not in the future.
With Love,
not hate
and with no regrets.

Frost on the pumpkin, no the turkey

The frost was delayed this year,
still again.
I had inpatients flowering until 2 days ago
and my now normal surprise,
parsley is still strong.
i do not mind,
the weather is NOT normal,
but who am i to say?
I count my blessings
and so avoid controversy of history.
7 years past,
i had lost my ability the think,
for a while,
not remembering how to cook a turkey.
I have returned,
for reasons that i am still unsure of,
but i am here,
ding what i do,
sharing,
cooking,
sharing what i cook.
Much love to all
and God bless.

I often wonder about me

I ride or walk,
through the dizzying colours,
that are Fall.
I think of fiery lava flows,
225 million years ago,
(yes I believe that,
without contradiction to my faith.)
That covered this same land
and then drift.
to the icy cold glaciers,
miles deep,
only 10,000 years passed.
The to the pristine wilderness,
this must have been,
only a few short centuries ago.
Back to the present, I watch,
the rush,
the impatience,
the anger
that we seem to spew,
as we rush past the colours
and forget beauty.
What is the rush?
These colours have been in the making,
for millions of years,
I will enjoy
and rejoice
and be glad in Him.