About Me

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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Monday, April 30, 2018

i have been wondering when or if i post again

but spring is here and the cold of winter with it bleakness is gone
it makes me happy.
i doubt if i have followers any more, but who knows.
i write for me and i still struggle.
A dark night of the soul?
A lesson to change?
slowly ripping away the scabs of the past,
it hurts, but the flesh under neath is clean.
My lessons?
loving my self,
getting rid of fear
and learning to trust God.
Yes i am one of those who believe,
but do not think life is rosy because of it,
but there is change needed and i will have it.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

just being on the computer is more difficult

i do not write much any more,
it feels like a waste of time.
I am facing reality and this does not seem like it is.
emotional or spiritual always has a price
and i am growing now.
i was in a bad place when i first came down,
thinking of this as a place to die,
not to live.
The depression which surrounded me  from the time of the operation,
hounded me.
Fantasy which i lived in from youth,
encompassed me.
It has taken time to recover,
from both.
AM i okay?
mostly, but i am still growing.
This is to let you know i am here
and where i am supposed to be,
though my adjustments are slow in coming

Sunday, November 19, 2017


eight year old tree - bearing fruit indoors

Thursday, November 2, 2017

it is hard

This  transition has been harder than I thought…
going from urban to rural and
with a few issues on the side,
it has been though.
I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel yet,
but it is coming with a lot of work to be done.
and that is the big thing,
this is not simple,
it is a slow  process
and requires work and  energy.
Do not be fooled,
it is good I  am here,  but
it is work.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

who am I now?

Familiar and comfortable
with circuits and code;
especially in the absolutes of zeros and ones.
I find  myself in unfamiliar surroundings,
green fields of soy and cotton.
Coops of dove
and pigeons,
ducks  and  chickens
and goats.
All so unfamiliar
and not so comfortable.
The gardens are wonderful,
I am at home with them,
but such a large area,
how  do I start?
I no longer am who I was…
I am glad

Friday, October 6, 2017

the child

the child,
rests in his mother's  bosom,
safe  secure.
Not so such a place for a man,
tho we may wish to return.
Do I dare say it,
the comfort is  contagious,
we  want more
and not to leave,
but  to  grow  up,
is to leave the comfortable  place.
My new life is  not comfortable
and so I am growing up

and this is  a good  thing.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

good news

so the adventure does not begin again,
the second MRI,
shows no tumor,
only things  that should be monitored,
but are of no significant concern!