Saturday, February 28, 2015

i have to wonder about me

I have been quite,
too quite.
The cold
and snow
and ice,
freeze my heart
and so words do not come tumbling out.
They strain to take form
as if in a state of suspended animation
or hibernation.
I am witnessing wondrous things inside,
where it remains warm.
Fruit on a citrus tree,
mocks the piled up snow.
Flowers on a plant,
i have known as an impatient,
blooms profusely,
as does a geranium.
Other citrus seedlings are popping out
and will become more trees,
defying the climate out side.
It is hard for me to go any where.
My blood freezes just looking out the door
and though the house is warm,
i feel a chill in my bones.
i now see fee people
and that makes me unhappy.
There are those that rescue me
and for that i am grateful.
This does not last forever
and soon will be but a faded memory,
washed away by green growing plants,
colors and scents of flowers
and people no longer rushing passed,
but lingering to chat awhile.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

the descant of being alone

yes,
i use that word,
but it fits
and it is a lie,
for we are never alone.
We think we are alone
and therefore we are lonely,
but we are all connected.
connected in marvelous way that are beyond feeling.
Yet...
we seek to separate each other from ourselves,
in hate
and greed
and evil intent.
Our fighting only serves
to show how strong that connection is.
The words
and the violence
are empty gestures,
to what is the truth.
At times,
no most times,
i also feel lonely.
Its sickness rotting my heart
and somewhere,
someone lifts me out
and i remember,
the connections are never lost.


Sunday, February 15, 2015

everything feels worse when you have a cold...

Yes,
all those awful things i seem to deal with daily,
now feel worse.
It is only a little cold,
stuffed sinuses,
achy body,
tired
and yet it magnify the burden i deal with daily.
The strain on the eyes,
as they struggle to make images one,
through the glasses,
is horrible.
If i lie down to sleep,
i get none,
for the normal scratchy point in the throat,
makes me cough still more.
There is no rest.
A sudden turn
and i almost fall.
this is the norm,
but it bothers me more today.
The little bug that brings men low,
i am not immune,
but will feel less bothered soon.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

a bit, no a lot of light

those liars,
they said if i spoke their name
or brought them to the light,
they would live.
Ugly, misshapen things,
they were,
born from hurt and despair so long ago,
yet multiplied with each hurtful thing.
In the dark they grew strong.
Letting go,
not believing the lies,
they are banished from my life.
Thankfulness,
forgiveness
and love,
were much stronger than they
and they have died
and lost their power,
coming into the light of day.
How often do we believe such lies?
How often are we told,
it can not be changed
and yet,
to our chagrin,
it does as long as we are willing.
Nothing can not be changed,
nothing can not be made better.
There is always something more
and still more to be thankful for.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

desires in abstraction

they lay hidden,
in the deep recesses of the heart.
Hidden,
in shadow,
not seeing the light of day
nor are they spoken of...
for fear of bringing tears to my eyes.
They lay hidden,
among the shards of broken hearts,
that have not healed.
I do not speak of them,
for fear they will taken form
and life
and i would no longer have control of them.
So they lay hidden deep
and I do not speak of them,
for i do not wish for them to take form.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Returning

Coming back home,
early this morning,
the little houses and cars sped by.
Oh, wait,
it was me who sped by.
Away from the snow,
the dirty white mounds,
looked surreal all in greys and white.
I had forgotten New England for a short time
and that was a good thing.
Returning confuses me
and i need help returning.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Falling into it



I am ill at ease.
Something troubling my spirit,
making me restless deep down.
How can i possibly understand you,
when i have no clue about me?
I see change coming,
but i vacillate,
between excitement
and terror.
An end is coming,
but it is not my end...
i simply do not understand.
Can't we all see,
how hard it is to understand
and help each other along?