About Me

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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

again - it has been a time, but then again...

It feels like time and direction are moving quickly,
dragging me along,
tearing me from where i am,
to where i truly want to be.
I was not totally prepared
and yet i am.
A contradiction?
Change is constant,
it never stops.
The passage of time is constant,'in out minds
and yet,
inevitable.
What do we do with this time we have?
I think
and pray.
For years,
I always tried to be a doer
and had difficulty "being".
I may have learned a portion of that lesson,
for now i am off again
and those i leave behind,
miss me.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

The power of blogging

Note,
i did not say the importance
or the fun,
but the power...why?
I have been blogging now more than 8 years
and in those 8 years,
i have connected with people from all over the world.
Again, note, i said connected,
because that is what blogging does,
we share a part of us when we blog,
we write or interests,
our desires,
our questions
and, most importantly,
our hearts.
Facebooks,
twitter,
instagram,
and even google +,
have all come
and they are fun
and allow us to see many pieces,
but they are not intimately showing someones heart.
Some use the various blogs,
to promote business
and sponsor items they like,
it still shows heart.
So i engage in all of the above,
but i always come back to blogging,
it is that important.

Friday, November 25, 2016

i have seen...

It is fitting that i post this now, after a day of thanksgiving for what we have...

i have seen,
the bars that imprison us,
that are of our own making.
These bars pretend to separate us,
from each other,
but they are of our own making.
I have seen the light tendrils,
that link each of us to each other,
that reach through those bars
and those tendrils,
are not of our making.
Something greater connects us,
than what separates us,
but we try to ignore them.
Those bars,
from our deepest fears,
form an imaginary live,
one we think can not be crossed.
but it can.
To allow those chains
and bars
and prisons,
to release us,
requires our free will.
allow that light to come through
our imaginary walls
and see that we are all connected.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Simple Things - reflections

As i was making my bed,
after washing all the sheets and such,
I froze in my tracks,
remembering....
It was 8 years ago,
about this time,
after coming out of the 2 month stay in the hospital.
After the "shunt" was placed in me,
to reduce the swelling in my head.
i was home
and slowly i began to lose,
what i call cognition.
My brain no longer was functioning
and i was in the midst,
of learning still one more lesson.
I stopped as i complete my task,
just yesterday
and marveled
and was thankful,
for it was 8 years ago,
i forgot how to even "fix" the bed,
after a night sleep.
Those simple things,
that once i could not do,
I am able to do again
and i am reminded,
that we must always be thankful for the little things!

Friday, November 11, 2016

awake this morning

i am awake this morning
and clear-headed.
The muse is strong,
whispering in my ear.
A friend friend,
who all the doctors say is dying,
told several people that "he is going home next week".
I now believe what it means,
for we are similar,
he and i,
for we have been to the other side
and come back to live again.
Each of us have handled life differently,
but in the reality,
the different manners,
are the same.
I am to see him today,
yet again
and he is not a pretty site,
his organs are failing
and is gaunt and shriveled.The view of him,
upset my 81 year old priest,
who has seen a lot in his time.
Yet here I am,
doing what i can at this time.
It seems to happen often to me,
see ing those i love pass on,
but all of this is only temporary
and so i will send him off with all my love.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

i never thought

i never thought, i would see this day...
no this is not a political rant,
for i am not a political person,
rather this is a surprise.
A surprise that i have made it to my 62nd year of life.
I truly did not think after the operation,
that i would see the next year,
or the next,
or the next
and this has continued now eight years.
At first i was unhappy,
 for this life is not easy,
but i found purpose
and reason
and feeling to live.
So here i am,
amazed
and happy.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

the normal refrain for me now - I am busy!

I see a person walking on the street,
also retired,
who complained how bored he was,
now that he retired.
I do not understand,
it seems so much is crammed into each day,
i sometimes do not have time for my self.
This is obviously a good thing,
for i feel like i am living now,
doing the things that make me happy...
"what is your day like?", they all ask
and i stumble,
i do not know how to describe a routine,
where others are so part of my life.
Normal stuff in a week:
shopping,
cooking,
visiting'
church.
I take my time to cook,
i must take time when shopping,
(only a bit of impulse buying here).
A friend in the hospital,
helping a friend with a project,
The older neighbor on our street,
(who says i am her friend),
other neighbors,
who say they miss my bright greetings,
when i am away.
I have a good relationship with the priest at the church i go to,
the time there is not about me.
Evening is quiet
and spend it with my housemates,
persons who are more than friends for more than 30 years.
My sleep time is set by nothing in particular,
but i have a hard time keeping my eyes open past 10 PM.
6 to 7 AM, i am up
and i have no way of "sleeping in",
for i am rested and ready to continue.
Days are different, but similar.
I still wonder if i had a life when i worked,
for to me this is living!