Monday, January 19, 2015

Falling into it

I am ill at ease.
Something troubling my spirit,
making me restless deep down.
How can i possibly understand you,
when i have no clue about me?
I see change coming,
but i vacillate,
between excitement
and terror.
An end is coming,
but it is not my end...
i simply do not understand.
Can't we all see,
how hard it is to understand
and help each other along?

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

dreaming or not?

I awoke from my dream,
saying this is not real,
but i did not know yet,
just what i was referring to...
was it the dream
or was it now?
There seemed to be so much struggle,
so much pain,
so much strife,
That was not in the dream,
there was peace
and comfort
and i felt safe.
I almost remembered,
the cause of that dream.
An operation,
the one where i stopped breathing,
for i heard the doctor say so.
Oh, that peace!
That peace was the reality,
not this place that i was in now.
The struggle took over
and i forgot the dream,
but i remember the peace
and wondered why it was not here.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

a misstep

Not quite a fall,
for i caught myself on the fence,
before my knees,
touched the cold of the concrete sidewalk.
but not hurt,
I was in the sight of many others,
who rushed over to help.
I was okay,
but not emotionally.
I have to be reminded often,
such as in the this situation,
that i am NOT well,
that my limitations are real
and that i must be careful at all times.
It is tiring,
being ever vigilant
and there are many times,
i want to throw down my cane,
toss the prism glasses off my face
and run!
And run,
not to get away,
but for the sheer freedom it brings.
I wonder how many times,
those who are worse off than i,
feel the same.
I took some minutes,
to get my heart and mind right again.
Then I continued on,
for a long walk was planed,
of more than  a mile,
before that misstep
and i was not going to be deterred!

Monday, January 5, 2015

My first question for this new year

since i do not think i have made my blog interesting reading
or at the very least,
what i post does not generally get any comments,
except on Facebook and Google plus,
i am starting a new trend and
asking questions of any readers.
This question starts with my answer,
as i found my self cleaning in my kitchen again
and leaving my room to layers of dust.
What part of your living space do you find easiest or most likely to clean?
And which is least likely to get your cleaning attention?

Friday, January 2, 2015

creeping in

my brain says :
"It is not that bad out, yet!",
but my hands and feet,
they feel it.
the thing i dislike most in winter time,
the cold.
My fingers feel it first
and i don gloves.
My toes,
wrapped in shoes
and socks,
cry out for heavier socks,
but then succumb,
to that creeping numbness.
The dark does not bother me so much,
even when i can not see the stars,
but cold of any kind is tough on me.
My mind follows,
once the fingers and toes feel it
and all is lost.
The darkness that follows is not of lack of light,
but of the absence of hope,
for all feels desolate and barren.
Christmas time is over
and bleak mid winter is upon us.
"It is not as bad as last year!"
my mind screams in desperation,
"There is not snow on the ground, still!"
Again my mind attempts to regain a rational footing,
byt my heart has gone down a slippery slope
and only the fresh air of Spring will revive it.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014


to all who read this:
have a safe and wonderful new year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

more reflections of things done

i have been fortunate in this life
for i have walked trails where none has been before
and followed in the footsteps of a thousand others.
I have taken worn paths,
leading to mountain peaks,
of lakes
and old abandoned mines.
i have entered into caves, no one else has been,
or if they had,
there was no sign
and walked in the lighted darkness
of caves open to the public.
Did i say that i had fear in those i believed no one had been?
i did and i am not afraid to say,
but the wonder of it was great.
i found fossils of sea creatures
now found on dry land
and minerals spewed onto the earth,
millions of years past.
I have fished in streams and lakes,
where cold water flowed
and in a deep and green gulf.
I have gone horse back riding,
on the dusty trails of the Big Bend
and taken canoes down a swollen river.
I have slept under the stars,
in a lonely place
and mixed with a million people in the big cities.
I have seen the sad dance of the Cherokee,
reenacting their "Trail of Tears",
for all to see
and walked with an Indian chef,
as a child.
I have huddled in shelter,
hiding from a mighty hurricane
and been blown around in a thunderstorm.
and lakes
and oceans have been a playground
and i have swum with the dolphins.
I have enjoyed Spring
and Summer
and Fall,
but rarely winter.
I have saved a child from drowning,
in the crashing waves off St. Louis Pass
and been saved by my own father,
when one cased me off the Galveston Jetty.
I traversed the Rockies,
from Texas to and into Canada,
by car and foot and plane.
I have seen all the national parks,
from the mountains to the East coast,
but never the West coast.
I beheld
and held onto,
the Rocky Mountain's majesty,
but preferred the quiet solitude,
of the Appalachian trail.
I saw the Gulf of Mexico,
from Mexican shores
and ate tortillas from a street side vendor.
I was in the quiet square,
of a sleepy Mexican village
and the bustling market place,
of a boarder town.
and Mountains,
and caves.
and Forest,
I have been,
with eyes wide open
and nostrils wide,
absorbing all they had to give.