my blogging is pretty much done

with google and its thing and me not interested and with out my muse singing my story this is my last post.

stories about things you might not know

i work at a large bakery as a chemist where we tested every ingredient that went into the bread and other things.
It was one of the other things that gave me pause to respect.
They frozen bread and at some appoint time in the future they would do an organoleptic test on it (taste test)
there was this orange cinnamon raisin bread that we got to try after being frozen for 20 years (not a typo)
it was wonderful
who knew bread lasts so long frozen!

The music seems to be muted

Not much going on,
very little in the similes and metaphors,
but the weather is warm and i feel peaceful.
Missing Christmas music,
i know i am strange.
Waiting for the new year
Have a happy one everyone!

off and on

while my mood seems to jump around a bit,
the colors of autumn always lift me up.
They are not the same as New England,
but beautiful never the less,
reds, yellows and oranges and then the muted colors of each
make this spectacular!

yesterday

it was a difficult one,
but i came out of it before and hour or so.
Today is better by far
and that is the way it goes

still struggling

the good news is that my tumor is not coming back.
the good news is i am in good health,
but sometimes my attitude sucks,
feeling down and not wanting to be here any more.
No not at the farm, but on this earth.
do not fear,
i will not cause my demise, but there are times i wish i was gone.
it comes suddenly with other emotions and so i struggle.
i do not give up,
but this is what it feels like.
I am still not "okay".
Every death reported in the news makes me jealous,
but i do not want a slow death, i want it quick, mostly for my self, but also for those near me.
THe is a dark post cause i am in the middle of one of these episodes.

sometimes

such a word,
sometimes i post here,
sometimes i just read.
Sometimes i am down,
other times, i am not.
It is good not to be able to escape myself,
it means i am growing.
The cool to colder weather is here,
i never like it.
sometimes the sun shines,
i love that!