Sunday, November 18, 2018

still struggling

the good news is that my tumor is not coming back.
the good news is i am in good health,
but sometimes my attitude sucks,
feeling down and not wanting to be here any more.
No not at the farm, but on this earth.
do not fear,
i will not cause my demise, but there are times i wish i was gone.
it comes suddenly with other emotions and so i struggle.
i do not give up,
but this is what it feels like.
I am still not "okay".
Every death reported in the news makes me jealous,
but i do not want a slow death, i want it quick, mostly for my self, but also for those near me.
THe is a dark post cause i am in the middle of one of these episodes.

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