I woke up about 4 Am hearing a cat fight, that just added to my depression that I had been dealing with all day the day before. The eye Thing is FRUSTRATING! It wears me out, but not so my entire body is tired, just my wacky brain. The cat fight reminded me of the 2 companions I lost while I went through my 'Adventure'.
It occurs to me that although everyone knows that I dealt with a tumor, they don't know the story of the surgery.
I can talk about 3 places during this adventure I almost died, but did not. One was that they actually caught the tumor before it grew any more (it was against the brain stem and things could have been really bad a few months later),
The second was during the surgery itself. It started at 8 AM with a lot of signing of paper work and remember signing the one saying I understand that the surgery is risky and could result in death. The removal of the tumor went fine, everything was removed and I was stitched up, but they were not quiet finished when I woke up for a moment hearing someone say in an urgent and 'what's a matter with you kind of voice', "He's not breathing!" I passed back out and woke up a bit later with this plastic thing in my mouth, gagging. I pulled it out. Of course, I did not know what I was doing, they had intibated me so I could breath. They knock me out and reintibated me. This was why I have so much trouble with swallowing (but it has improved, a lot). And I woke yup and it was 6 PM. That began the adventure.
The third was when I fell because there was too little fluid in my brain after they put the shunt in to relieve to much fluid. The shunt did what not one expected or knew could happen, I bacisally lost brain function and in the hospital, my friends said I stopped breathing several times the first night.
I suppose I should not be so frustrated and I am thankful to be alive, but I wanted this adventure to be over! I am ready to live again and enjoy my life. go out and just plain be.