Lately that I have been a bit down at times. It is not that I do not believe that this saga will come to an end, a happy end. It is just that it feels like it is taking a long time.
For what ever else I can say about me that is consistent in my life is that I am a fighter. Some times in the wrong way, mostly for others, but no one can say that knows me well I will not go down without a fight.
Even with all the difficulties with vision, swallowing and energy, I just will not stop.
Some how i do not think it is a bad thing.
I look for places of encouragement, i find it often. I will claim to be on a spiritual journey, but will not claim to be much more than on a journey.
I enjoy people who are encouraging, and in that i enjoyed Joel Olsten's Night of Hope last night at Yankee Stadium.
Even when I am complaining or being difficult or discouraged, I know I have a lot to be thankful for.
I will reiterate, mostly for my own benefit.
I am thankful I am alive (those 3 chances to die did NOT occur).
And am thankful that the blasted tumor is gone. It affected an awful lot of me that it is not doing any more.
I can see, albeit, not well, but I can still help others with my knowledge.
My mind is really even sharper than ever and has made connections that I never say before.
My heart is softer and not quit so brash.
I can accept people for who they are better and if they are in my life I can just enjoy them and not try to figure out why they are there.
The last 4, I can blame squarely on this adventure of healing that i have been through for the last 8 months.
I actually feel I can appreciate the people in my life better and pretty much can not stand the bullshit that was going on with me before.
Any way I really can be thankful for all of this.
3 comments:
From what I've heard (hubby has hearing loss 80%) is that the brain adjusts itself and picks up the lack of our senses, organs, etc.
When death has come close, I think it makes you realize what is really important in life. You must still have a mission here on earth, otherwise you would not still be here!
My brother has a brainstem tumor.
Jennette, I figured the same thing, so there is more time for me to cause the proper kind of trouble!
Zaida - each person and each thing is different. Your probably will not go through what I did exactly, but will face many of the same challenges. If you want insight, read my story. If you want to wait, it is completely understandable.
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