During this current battle, i purposely suppressed a lot of things, my muse, my creativity and a lot of the way I have started to look at the world (which finds a lot of beauty).
This helped me survive the onslaught as i put my head down and pushed through the crowd of craziness.
The point is i survived and all those things did not leave, they just hung on for the ride.
It seems I am able to write again and am starting to respond to others blogs. There is a lot going on in many peoples lives, here in Blog land.
I would ask all of you to visit Barry and give support.
Clarity in Muddy waters is also dealing with a great many things.
And Sweet Mango has suffered a loss.
I would much rather post joyous news than others difficulties, this world is what is is and we make the best of it with what we have.
While I come back on my Saturday and Sunday work time completely exhausted, it seems that I am recovering faster (30 minutes vs 2 hours).
For years I tried to master blood pressure control (mentally), but the physical aspects of what can be controlled have more to do with weight than mind However, when it comes to stress and the pressures of the battle, that is a different story.
You can calm your mind and lower that portion.
I have my "meditation" music on 24/7. This is just a collection of various quiet music, much by Nicholas Gun and Alice Gomez (Native American based) and then many, many others.
That helped, but there are times you just have to stop your mind from going off and that is what i did.
During the heat of all of this my blood pressure went to a very bad 160/110. I stopped calmed my self and brought it down within minutes to 110/73. I have continued this and it has brought it down to a really low 93/44, that is when i reduce the blood pressure medication. I see my doctor on Thursday.
This also did not help me in my work. Since calming down, my finding entry mistakes in the database has been good and I am approaching things in a more methodical manner.
A quick aside, in 7th grade, I was taught algebra, which came naturally to me, so much so that I would play chess with myself and not pay attention to the problem on the board. the teacher at first would call on me and I would look up and give the correct answer. She would ask how i got that and I would tell her it was obvious and then give the "proof". That infuriated her, but there was nothing to do, I knew it.
I do that with most problems, i see the answer and most of the times the work after will show that i am correct (but not always). It is the flurry of finding the information that proves or disproves my intuitive leap that caused most of this.
Everything is as clear as it could be to me, but not to everyone else.
No, I do not try to manipulate the information, I try to get the truth from the information and I try to gather as much of it as possible.
It seems i am past that and what i need to do is set up for the people who follow me to find the information on the rest of the problems.