Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It ALWAYS passes

Today was a strange day, I was down a bit, but there was a reallity, my muse was struggling to get out again and paint.
That will be shown when I get the picture out of the camera.
It was also a day of reflection because I and not thought much of the struggles I was gone through this past year and there are many of them and I am still dealing with some of them.
I remember the first night in the CCU of the hospital not really understanding all the swimming and confusion, the blackness and the noises.
Then trying to learn to walk again and to swallow, such difficulty, not even water would go down right.
I still will choke on water, but the improvement is so different.
I was sitting on the porch yesterday and doing something that coems naturally to me, but I think no one else. I was balancing chemical equations for impurities that use oxygen in the Long Island Sound. I am crazy, I thought to my self and then today I painted. It is different than I used to do, but there is a different kind of complexity to the work and I know it is me also.
I started the chicken for the enchiladas I will serve in a couple of weeks, they went into the freezer and that is part of me also.
Such a complex creature and yet last year...
I have come a long way.

4 comments:

Lori said...

You are blessed to have come out to the other side. I never knew that swallowing was something that if you did not do, you had to be re-taught. My late husband had esophogeal cancer. They were afraid to basically take out his larynx because he would have swallowing issues. You have come a long way. I don't find you crazy in the least. You see the beauty in our world and you capture it with the bristles of your brush. You care about the environment. Nope, not crazy in the least. Keep healing my friend.

cherie said...

don't despair. i'm trying to get back on track myself but things get in the way. happy to be here though. ~~~may we see the painting when it's done?

Gail said...

HI JOEY-

I love your thoughts and how you blend that many areas of your healing journey. Your reflections are so detailed and true - I understand how things are different - some subtle - some quite overt. I think you are quite amazing.

Love to you
Gail
peace......

Libby said...

joey, i love this painting! grabs the mood of this time of year, doesnt it?