Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Reset Button

In my sub conscious, I knew yesterday was important.
I did not know why.
That is because that is the day they a year before, they put the shunt to remove the excess cerebral spinal fluid that had accumulated in the back of my head at the site of the operation.
That day was the beginning when the reset button was hit and for November of 2008, I have no memory, only snippets of still pictures.
The Shunt was only suppose to remove the excess, but it did far more than that and for a month I was operating my thinking engine one quart low.
The close people around me were alarmed, but did not know what to say or do.
My speech was slurred and slow and all my movements were deliberate.
In one sense, I was operating at a "retarded" level of cognition and that is not to put anyone down who is slow, my brain simply was not there.
I could not cook.
i could not put the sheets back on my bed after I had washed them.
Lots of things just did not matter anymore.
It put me a path that put me back in the hospital in the beginning of December, where they figured out what was wrong and shut off the shunt.
I woke up from that operation with my brain operational again, immediately.
It forced my "heart" and feeling to operate my life and that was not all bad.
I think that is what activated my muse.
What put me back in the hospital was a walk, about a mile down the road. alone, to buy a gift card for someone special's birthday. The action was all heart, my mind was not involved.
There was no mind to be involved.
On the way back, I passed out on the sidewalk in front of a gas station.
There are strange stills of memory in that, a woman screaming, the Fire truck with flashing lights, a kind and gentle EMS man lifting me onto a stretcher.
The hospital stay was cloudy and dark People visiting me, someone running out of the room crying, a gentle nurse helping me, signing a paper for an operation and then waking up with everything clear.
I did not say, but they checked my cognition, gave me an IQ test and decided if I had lost anything, it really did not matter, the IQ score was 160, for whatever that matters.

Today was a good day of remembering that "reset" and while my camera skills are poor at best. I give you a snap shot of my latest creation.


CT covered bridge.

6 comments:

patty said...

Here's to resets.

(My sister's tumor removal is in 12 days.)

Scarlet said...

The brown adds a beautiful depth to this painting. I love the fall colors; you have a gift for landscapes!

Your story is an amazing one and I'm glad you're back full force! :)

Annie Coe said...

Resets are good :-). Love the new painting. xoxo

Grant said...

I need a reset button. Until life installs one, reality will never be the equal of video games.

Lori said...

I love the covered bridge. Google Baltimore Md. We have a historic covered bridge. It is filled with urban legend etc. I would love to see you paint it. I think it is called The Jericho Covered Bridge. It is considered historical and it is very beautiful.

Lori said...

http://www.mdcoveredbridges.com/jericho.html