i have sought peace and not found it because of this.
It is not because my mother has past on,
nor because of the continuing saga of my head trauma recovery.
No this is because of the confusion and chaos in my life and heart.
Each contributes to it,
as does every one who asks something of me,
but i own my own chaos and strive against it.
I sometimes feel like a lost child,
who no longer knows his way.
I hear; "Be still and hear my voice, know that i am God"
and i struggle to be still.
For a time i find it,
my heart is still
my path is clear
and the rage fades away.
The plants call out to me;
"Help us, for we are at your mercy."
I respond and i am still quiet,
working the dirt, the roots, bringing order to chaos.
Simple it seems.
How simple, how difficult it is to be still!
There is a whole religion devoted to it.
So simple and how much interferes.
There is much work to do,
i can face it again
and so here i am again.
For a time now i am at peace ..