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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

back to basics

Just before my significant operation,
I was dating a person and we seem to get along.
The operation took a turn for the worse and i was in the hospital 2 months.
Some time during that 2 months, she left.
I was angry, mostly because she was a great help in getting my mom to see me and she just blew us all off and things became much more difficult.
After my mom passed, i saw her and informed her of what had happened, but i used the news of my mom's passing more as a baseball bat, rather than anything nice.
I knew i had to forgive and i will tell you it was difficult, but i attempted the best i could.
Today, i heard that she is now having serious health issues, but i found out that i still have resentment and really did not care.
I do not believe in the idea of "karma" as a good thing.
And i did not want to forgive her and get that bitterness out because of me,  but it was time to end this in my heart.
Reality; there is not one of us who has not made serious mistakes, hurt other people and caused heart ache.
We are all guilty and i will not add to her burden any longer.
I hope that things pass in a good manner and that nothing that she has done in the past is held to her account.
I forgive completely.
I was not doing it for me, but i know it will help me.

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