About Me

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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

coming down (or is it up) from rest

Coming back after being on kind of a retreat was hard,
but the week became so busy, in such a short time that i felt my head was spinning.
Now we have snow again and it allows me to quiet again,
but this time i have internet,
so i get around to blogging!
It seems that i do less talking, than singing here
and so very few know what is really going on in my life any more.
I think i want it that way, speaking in a somewhat cryptic voice allows me to be freer in my expression, but not today.
Most of us the the northeast US are sick and tired of the cold, the snow and this relentless winter that started in earnest in late January.
We should be thankful that it did not start in October as I remember it doing so when I first moved here.
I have forgotten to be thankful and i blame the weather...
There is always more because i was away and loving the early Spring just a few hours south of us.
The weather patterns have changed, though most do not want to acknowledge it.
It affects our moods, but many handle it better than i.
Doctor appointment coming, normal and typical of my life now, but i am not that happy about them any way.
I still have panic attacks where i think i can not breath, they are in my mind, not my body.  I think they are me remembering what happened on the operating table so many years ago, almost 7.
Anniversaries of remembrance have come and gone - my mom's passing, my dad's birthday, but the hardest one was of the last time i saw her alive, just before her death.
Strange how our minds work, how we remember things and what becomes good and what remains difficult.
I am still writing my memoir of my time at work.  When finished, i will seek to publish it.
enough rambling for now.
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