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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

further explanation is needed

I understand confusion.
I understand the Confusion i have presented.
Brain trauma,
such as what i experienced twice 7 years ago,
is the cause,
not something new.
As i have struggled to make sense of my life,
after the situation
- oh, for those who do not follow,
the removal of a tumor in my brain,
pressing against my brain stem.
It is gone,
but i have struggled to make sense of the physical issues,
the operation left me with.
It is time now to deal with the issues the next procedure caused.
A shunt,
placed to remove excess cerebral spinal fluid,
which accumulated at the site of the operation,
kept working after its job was done.
For one month, I continued on,
unchecked by a doctor,
until i fell
and in the hospital,
they sought answers.
When they shut off that shunt
and "I" returned,
there were things missing,
memory,
but it was partial loss,
not total.
The first knowledge I had was not remembering my passwords.
The second was more traumatic,
for someone came to me claiming they knew me in the hospital
and i had no recollection
and they went away in tears.
The third caught me off guard,
for I had returned to work
and a state inspector came,
telling me it had been three years since our last inspection.
I argued with him saying it had been five,
but then looked it up,
in a written file
and there,
in black and white was the date,
three years past.
I was still making sense of my vision
and balance
and pain
and so did not dwell on it,
but it still haunts me.
Every so often,
I find things that are simply gone
and i have trouble dealing with that
and dates.
I found answers,
for the Mayo clinic defines what i have well.
Amnesia
There is no ongoing problem,
it all occurred back then
and now i get to get a handle on this.
I look forward to this next past of my adventure.
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