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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Fear

Friday, while at the library waiting for David to check out some DVDs (by the way, they are free and very current), I had a chance to talk to one of the volunteers in the library bookshop who is blind in one eye for about 10 years now. She did not go into detail, but she talked about cooping with the confusion and fear it first created and the confusion it still creates. It was a conversation I could completely relate to and it helped me access something very real, but hidden away deep in my heart. Fear! I cope with it everyday, fear of falling, fear of losing the glasses, fear of never seeing correctly again, fear of not being able to work, do the things I love.
Fear of being alone, because people do not like to be reminded we are not invulnerable, that things happen in an instant which can change our life, forever. Accidents, illnesses, cancer, brain tumors. We have no control and no real recourse.
People call me courageous or brave and i really do not know what they are talking about. I am only a scared little boy trying to regain some semblance of a life back.
And that is what is real.
It was a good walk and great to meet some one who lifted my spirits by having already gone through an Adventure for a long time.
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