I am, I scream!
Just be, I whisper...
I woke up this morning full of emotion, there is a lot going on and the emotion was helped by some music that I have on my computer playing all the time (yes a slight waste of energy, but truly worth it). The music culprit was Michael Gettle's San Juan Suite, New Age piano music plus a bit extra, a very uplifting piece. I woke up crying...for joy. Nothing spectacular had happened, but I was thankful and happy. There are a lot of very special people in my life and each is bringing something good to me and I am thankful.
The right side was pushing me today and the struggle between the two sides of me should not be a struggle, they should co-exist, but I am not quite there yet.
The logical, scientific side provides a lot of force, to carry me through hard times, but can not really comprehend everything that happens to me, with me, around me or in me. It takes the side with my heart to do that and it just basks in the moment and takes it all in and, says "It is good!" This part of me is the calmer, kinder part and looks for a merger of who I am, other sides, into one. The other side is not yet ready to completely relinquish itself to the other, but it does not have much choice, because there is a deep dis pair that robs that side of strength. My heart embarrasses that despair and it is gone.
So you may see wild fluctuations in my posts, but the heart is winning, it simply must.