How do you describe what seems to an unending torment, with the seeming possibility of ending, with sparks of change, but no completion?
This has been my question as of late
My sick time is running low, the person who is the "gateway" to the sick bank is not seeming to offer much hope as me getting any "extra" time (i have 12 &1/2 days of overage because i did not use it when I was at my maximum). The explanation for this gloomy forecast is because I am working, part time, but working. It almost seems like i am being punished for trying to get back on my feet.
On the other side is that when I wake up in the morning there seems to be improvement. After so much time after i am awake, the vision goes to the old place, but it starts out very good, almost single.
There is much activity in the back of my head, where there has been none previously and it is increasing.
Now my left eye starts to twitch since a week ago Friday.
All of this makes me really tired.
At work, while i am there, it is like it used to be, chaotic, with people coming from all sides with problems and issues for me to solve.
With the water testing mostly open for business, there is income coming into the lab. not that this was ever a big deal, but it shows the powers that be that we can make money.
I ask "Will this come to an end?"
It always gets linked to endurance, long suffering, perseverance and then it gets linked to love.
Love comes from some of my closest friends, at inopportune moments, fro strangers, from people who come to this blog, to people I speak with on the phone.
And there is always Hope, for as much as i act out, i still hope for an end...
"the assurance of things hoped for"
Yes, this is part of it! I hope for an end of this part of my adventure.
"the conviction of things not seen"
Oh, how true! In so many way not seen!
I can say I believe the Doctors. the healers, the Spiritual people in my life and my closest friends.
They all have said it takes time.
"Not by sight"
That reference to seeing again!
Faith, is this what this is all about?
It gives rise to a whole new meaning to that word.
No longer a catch phrase for zealots, who use it as a weapon.
It comes as a word of peace, it brings solace, it brings peace and hope and some where in that journey there is joy.