Stability is a realative thing

I spent a productive weekend engaging in my side job, computer work. Nothing really big, hooking up a new home network and computer with fax etc. Then getting ready to answer a serious virus infection call. I have exhausted. This used to be my fun stuff, most times I would not take any thing for the work because, but all of this was tough. It strained my eyes (with the glasses) and gave me a case of have trouble standing on my feet. It was not what I wanted to do, but I had 2 people plead and beg for me to help. I am a sucker.
What I wanted to do was attempt a walk to my friends house (the one who does the massage) and talk with her, I did not have the energy.
I have been feeling the weight of responsibility, I am still significantly disabled with my eyes, but there is no one else.
There is a portion of discomfort with all of this because I do not think I can do this.
I simply do not feel well enough, then there was work today.
We had situations which might have been full moon aftermath items, except they were very real and significantly important. Some one needed a quicker test for a tick to see if it was infected, usually this is like not super serious because the 4 week curse of antibiotics is effective for up to 3 months after a tick bite that transmits Lyme. This was different, the person was on special treatment which did not allow him to take antibiotics at all. He has a 2 week window. That was important.
Our office support person's sister died, which I do not think I can grasp the enormity of and left just me an the other lab tech.
A person with a well has seriously unusual things going on that maybe caused my a neighbor back washing his pool water. That was odd and serious.
Finally we had a submission of 4 different insects in one persons rented apartment. The good news is that none were serious, the bad, I can not figure out why they were in a second story apartment.
I had to address the issue of rain with the environmental inspectors because they do not have back up if the one in charge is away. That is important for both the beaches and the shellfish waters.
I walked home, swaying a bit still and took my nap. feeling better, but there has been something still not quite right that I can not put my finger on. Thee is a bit of an edge, a bit of longing and maybe some more hope that something really good is going to happen.
Time will show it.
Sitting down and blogging brings me a bit of peace, strange and that brings a bit of stability, even stranger.