It has now been a year since I woke up in that hospital bed with tubes running out of me, confused, dazed and not really sure if I was dead or alive.
So many thoughts went on, some about doctors arguing about what and was not practicing medicine, some about why I could not swallow, some about the strange things I remember from the day of the surgery.
They were all strange and bewildering things.
I had not grasped that I had almost died after the operation.
I did not know what was happening with my vision.
I simply clung on to some strange and unusual hope that I would get better.
I was at that time, thinking of what happened to me as awful.
I was scared.
I had no idea what was really going on.
There was a transformation occurring deep inside.Some where I was becoming empathetic, my view on life was becoming more, Joyous.
Apparently, I was a pleasure for the nursing staff because i was just plain happy I was alive. I gave up and in that giving up, I let them do what ever they needed to do and some how, I changed deep inside.
I am not the same person I was a year ago. I do not even recognize who that person was.
There are some of the same feeling, but even now, it feels like I am moving at a rockets pace to unfamiliar space and I am excited.
Some friends took me to the new restaurant last night in Byram, Lolita. I enjoyed the nuevo Mexican food greatly. They did not know it was my anniversary, I think I will tell them tomorrow.