About Me

My photo

Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dreams and perceptions

The dream was charged with action,
Aliens, violence, death.
Not the stuff that makes for a restful night.
She appeared in a doorway,
"Are you alright"? she queried.
She nodded her head, knowing i was.
"I'll check on you later." and she vanished out of sight.
The remainder of the night was peaceful.

I hear voices, they are not dreams, but real.
It is David, but the voice does not fit.
He sounds older than he should.
I have been stuck in time,
Where David is still 30 and I am 26.
We all seem so much younger in my mind's eye, time has not aged us.

Agelessness is an awesome thing.
I no longer know how old I am.

In a few days, it will be the anniversary of my "fall", the one which put me in the hospital still one more time.
This fall put an end to the nightmare of running "a quart low" on cerebral spinal fluid.
Where the shut, put in to remove swelling, worked to well and actually had my brain concave.
I have little memory of last November. I checked my blog and the past is not there either.
most people who saw me said that I acted like some one with severe brain damage, retarded, with slurring speech and slow purposeful movements of my walk.
It was too much and I collapsed on a pavement at a nearby gas station.
The hospital stay was only a nightmare of lights and sounds and worried, frightened people.
These were the people who sat by me afraid for me, worried i would not make it.
A doctor came and shut off the shunt and memory and reason came back to me.
And that was the third time I missed death.
The first the tumor.
The second, the operation and this was the third.
The last thing that i held dear had been taken from me for a season and then given back.
Along with my reason, came my muse, my ability to paint and a sudden ability with free verse.
Emotion came strong making weep at simple things.
I am thankful, very thankful for everything i have.
Post a Comment