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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I really did not want to scare any one...

The signs I see coming are not about me, but they create a very emotional turmoil in me.
It is not a surprise and i have been expecting things to go "wrong", after all my mother is 87.
It is not imminent, but I find my self unprepared to do anything about it.
I am too far away and still have too much going on with my own health.
She is also resistant because there is this expectation, after all I am an only child...
And I still can not.
Her family is all around her, many of them, but she seems not to let them in close.
All in all a difficult situation.
What precipitated this?
Two things - a report from one of the 2 people I trust to tell me how she is doing.
And some of how she is comig acroos when I speak to her.
It is not dementia, her mind is sharp and it is not depression where she feels she is ready to go (she has been there), it is her talk of past people (family) who are no longer there with a wistful longing to be reconnected. That I have seen before and so I know what it means.
I, I am not ready, but she is.
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