The signs I see coming are not about me, but they create a very emotional turmoil in me.
It is not a surprise and i have been expecting things to go "wrong", after all my mother is 87.
It is not imminent, but I find my self unprepared to do anything about it.
I am too far away and still have too much going on with my own health.
She is also resistant because there is this expectation, after all I am an only child...
And I still can not.
Her family is all around her, many of them, but she seems not to let them in close.
All in all a difficult situation.
What precipitated this?
Two things - a report from one of the 2 people I trust to tell me how she is doing.
And some of how she is comig acroos when I speak to her.
It is not dementia, her mind is sharp and it is not depression where she feels she is ready to go (she has been there), it is her talk of past people (family) who are no longer there with a wistful longing to be reconnected. That I have seen before and so I know what it means.
I, I am not ready, but she is.
8 comments:
Are you not close with your mother?
Wow
This is something I never considered, as far as "readiness" goes. I imagined great pain that would make one want to put a stop to it, or a sense of fading out until there seemed to be little point... but the idea of being called, in a sense, by those who have gone before... that is not something I've thought of. I suppose if I had been raised in a specific religion or spiritual practice, I might have considered it, but having had to find my own way, this is a new concept to me.
thank you
This is quite hard to deal with and I don't think one can fully take it in stride no matter how much they prepare. I faced this with my grandparents dying and it was not fun at all but I found comfort in knowing they have lived full lives. Eventually after awhile I let go but it was not easy and I wish you the best in this as well as her.
I too am an only child by the way.
Maybe she's not feeling the same control over her body that she once had and is anxious about it, seeing it as a sign, so maybe she's just looking ahead preparing herself mentally. Who knows? I feel for her though, and for you, my friend. Hang in there!
Dawn - I am close in one way, but 500 miles away in another. I talk every other day at least, but she is skilled at hiding thing she does not want me to know. I rely on 2 people who see her often and will tell me how she actually is. this is the first time the news has frightened me.
Her being 87 is a significant point. What she says not as important as how she says it.
Hi Joey-
I understand. My Mom is 86, so I understand. And ready? Prepared? I can't even imagine.
Loving you
Gail
peace.....
Can imagine that it's hard to let go when you're an only child. If she is ready to go, you need to make it a priority to accept what she desires. Wishing you strength for today and hope for tomorrow.
I don't think we are ever prepared with our mothers. I'm also an only child, I have no idea how I will handle it.
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