Great day in may ways yesterday, but the evening turned a bit sour.
Felt physically good yesterday.
Walking home I found a bunch of change (and saw it).
An adversary is leaving my work place - that was good news.
I will get back some money from uncle sam.
My shoulder is improving (according to the doctor, but I feel it also).
I will go in today (okay, maybe that is the start of bad news), but the bus does stop very close to where I live and leaves me off directly in front of the government center.
Then came the feelings of being totally dependent...If it had not warmed up to reasonable temperature so I was able to walk, I would have missed the Doctor appointment. It was a long walk in the afternoon, but temperatures were above freezing and the sun was out, so the long walk to the Doctors and back was pleasant.
Because it is not on a bus line, I was in absolute need of a ride to the tax man (and I was afraid I would owe taxes this year (I came close)) and the persons who I am dependent on both were working late, I was being faced with what I could not do.
Then someone tells me I should not go to work today for many really reasonable reasons, but I was not being reasonable. I want to prove I do not need someone for everything I do.
I realize that the statement is stupid, but it is my way of addressing my fears.
My fears that I am stuck having to work another 2 1/2 years under these eyesight conditions before I can "retire".
My fears that I will use up all my vacation time on days and episodes like this,so that when I am able, I will not be able to take time to go down to Va and see my family.
Wanting to go down very badly and being berated in a non-direct way by my mom for not having done so (she can not say it to me directly so she picks a political issue to fight with me about).
Of course during the day the machine went on strike again, this time with a hardware problem, I think we got a lemon.
So again, the good, the difficult and the not so good, all in one day.
I would rather just stick with my muse....