An old struggle

Kicking and punching and screaming and yelling and fighting;
has filled my dreams as of late.
It is not because of what I see (or can not),
what i can not do (or can).
It is a struggle between who i was
and who i am becoming.
The man, who before the operation,
was meticulous and contoling,
full of fear and angst,
is losing ground, but is trying a desperate atempt to regain control.
The man who is coming...
is a man of Kindness and
in kindness there is no fear,
and no need to control,
and no need to worry.
Something programed from birth is the tool that the frighten man is using.
He is found out and the Kind man will prevail.
For only there will i have peace.