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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Limited

As i have struggled the past year and a half to understand what has happened to me,
I have been somewhat dismayed to find an answer that satisfied me.
Although i felt disabled or handicapped, neither truly fit.
I thought of the word, Limited and knew there was depth in the meaning
and so much, much more.
For we are all limited in our abilities in some way for a jet pilot may not be able to wash windows on a skyscraper or paint a picture or sculpt.
We do not have the ability to everything.
And we should not.

So right now i am limited in certain things i used to not be limited in.
I dare not drive a car for fear of injuring myself or others.
I get tired quickly, so do not have the stamina that i used to.
I would say those are the direct result of the vision issue.
It is not trivial.
The whole process has opened something else,
something which did not exist before.
I used to take things apart to their smallest pieces and that would be my description of them.
A leaf on a tree would be green because the pigment representing cellular growth, chlorophyll, was in greater concentration than the pigment re[presenting cellular decay, Pheophytin and the leaf was attached to the tree through one of the many polymers of sugars that gave it structure.
Now a leaf flutters in the wind, 
like a butterfly on a tether. 
stretching to be free.
Its emerald green glistening in the sun like a jewel.

The difference is amazing, but i never saw the second way before.
Now i see both.

I am i really limited or has my perspective changed?
With new ways of looking at things very present,
sing a song in my heart.

I am no longer frightened.
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