When i first started at the Health department,
i had been encouraged to so because it was a relatively "safe" job
and i was brash and impulsive and reckless,
not good qualities for a chemist,
but i loved to learn
and so that is what i did.
I learned and found that i could give advice with what i learned.
At first, this was a rush,
a source of pride, of arrogance.
It was easy for me to put together pieces of a puzzle and see thing connecting,
where others did not,
and so i published my first research article.
Some where this knowledge began to matured
and became just a vehicle to help people,
to give them something to make a decision,
that otherwise they would be in a quandary.
i learned more, put together more pieces, directed investigations,
cause i saw how to put things together so they made sense.
This week was a rough week for many reasons.
there were people with knowledge, who distorted it to their own advantage.
There were out right liars
and there were those who hid just enough of the truth, so some one else could "hang" themselves with it.
i am fairly passionate,
i got very angry.
i exposed the lie, the hidden, the distorted.
It was not good for me, for my health, my well being, but it did make a lot of people safer.
Was it worth it?
I am still pondering that question and do not have an answer yet.