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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Saturday, July 17, 2010


on my eyes -
In the morning, when i awake,
the two images from my eyes are most joined.
Not totally split, but not totally separate either,
so my computer screen, with its pictures,
appears as a stretched out rectangle of color.
This is the most confusing to see.
I can easily see a single image at counter height and this lasts almost an hour.
 \When i sit out side, without the glasses, there is a fight between which predominates.
The left is the stronger, mostly because at a 45 degree point of center, the right eye "swims".
If i close my eyes and then open them, the right image moves,
slowly off from a closer center point, till it settles at some distance away.
 My peripheral vision is still incredible,
but different,
looking straight ahead,
my left eye "sees" and recognizes objects at greater than 100 degrees,
but my right eye only recognizes things at about 85 degrees.
At night, when i am tired, using the glasses sometimes hurts
 and i can watch TV without them, enjoying a "double feature" of sorts.
At this time the right, weaker eye appears more normal, but the left eye is open much wider.
the image from my right eye, in the less light of night appears "bluer".
This is not noticeable during the day.
Reading glasses are sometimes needed at work, sometimes not.
Sometimes i can not use them and this is variable with time and days.
The "focus changing exercise" is in constant use at work
and so i tire still by 12, leaving by 1, but i start at 7:30.
Balance is still an issue - always, tho i walk around the block several times without my cane,
i will not do without it going longer distances.
It has saved me from falls.

On my life -
i sometimes feel too protected,
i sometimes feel too much is asked of me.
i sometimes feel i do not rest enough,
i sometimes feel i do not do enough.
What a confused picture i must present,
for i still do not know where to stand or run or walk or fly,
doing none at times and all at others.
i huger to talk to people,
i desire to be alone.
i am free and trapped at the same time.
And i wonder why i have double vision, my life is double also!
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