Saturday, July 31, 2010

A question of why not

I do not think i have done any recent posts on the way i live
and the woman in the window had some questions and i feel i should answer in a post.
When I was young, I was always curious, always searching.
I did not think i had the answers, but i wanted them.
I was, in reality, lonely also, looking, for some answers to things in my heart, that did not fit in my brain.
In college, i encountered a group of people, who did not have all the answers either, but were not lonely.
The spiritual base was and is Christianity, but there was no exclusivity involved and they lived a "shared life".
They were connected to a rather large Episcopal church and out reach in Houston and i was fascinated and drawn.
They helped people by being together, but it was an aside, being together was first and reaching out a natural outcome.
That fit.
We shared living space. meals, heartaches and joys.
As i was completing college, they were planning to move up to New England, they had received an invitation by another Episcopal church (and they were from this area) and had all the doors they thought would never open, open for them to come up.
They invited me.
Living this way is never easy, everything gets in the way.
You are with people like a close nit family, squabbling, laughing, crying and going on,
In our household, there are four guys, 1 is mentally disabled and he is a "guest" as much as anyone could be, but engages to the extent of his ability.
Another had damage to his brain from birth and while he carries the titled "disabled", there are times he is more able than i.
There is John, who does not have the labeled "disabled", but like me, has some limitations.
We try to put everything into a basket and some how ,we seem to come up with more than we put in.
We share meals, books , papers, TV shows, movies, chores, cooking,discussions, politics and our hearts.
We share the house expenses.
We do not all think the same or have the same views on almost anything, except that we should be together.
There are other houses that are part of this community and we get together when we can, weekly at the very least.
We have our outside friends, our own politics and our own spiritual beliefs.
It is unimportant that we think alike and probably better, but it is important to respect each other.
We bump in to each other, get angry, even sometimes yell.  We keep trying to go further in our hearts and learn something each day.
We collectively are not celibate, John has a girl friend and i have many friends, David's gift is with animals and Eric loves politics.
We get along and each day is something new.

4 comments:

Gail said...

HI JOEY-

I am stillin the throws of this healing challenge from the MS flare-up. sigh, one step at a time.
I enjoyed your 'facts' about your life - kinda missed the 'feelings about it all. Intentional?

Love you man
Gail
peace and hope.....

Unknown said...

facts are easiest to explain about something unfamiliar to most.
The feeling can be expressed by my heart, but we are a family, where each is first, but we are not family in the normal sense.
All the fear each has when one is in danger, is beyond words.
All the hope we all have when one is in trouble, is beyond words and feelings.
All the trust that we place in each other is beyond our current world's understanding.

Unknown said...

What a great situation you have going for you. Sometimes people live together and are at each others throats. This is not the case with you all.

I hope some day we can meet up if I am in Stamford which really isn't far.

Woman in a Window said...

Yes Joey, one word came to mind while reading and it was family. I am thrilled you are surrounded by people you love and who love you. I've worried time to time on perhaps your lonliness and so I am relieved. You're a good sweet soul and deserve a full house. If I weren't such a loner or introvert this kind of living would appeal to me. I understand it and I appreciate your sharing with us.

If there are those who don't understand it, well then, I don't know that I could understand their lack of understanding. Make sense?

xo
erin