Waking

Are my dreams, but nightmares
or are my nightmares but dreams.
I must ask,
without hope for an answer.
The answers that i am so apt at finding,
they have lost their way
and i no longer know.
closed eyes with brilliant purples
and green
and gold..
pulse through my closed eyelids.
To be afraid
or not?
i still live
and laugh
 and play.
Drops of water obscure
what is already confused.
I laugh at my self,
through my new uniqueness.
Some one says, in response to a "How are you", "i am not falling apart yet".
As i whip off my glasses and say "Oh, but you are, split right in two!".
We laugh and go on our different paths.
My humor is still here,
my love still exists.
I cry out in bewilderment,
but yet i have peace.
How strange it all is
and yet there is more to come.
Much more to come.