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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

cleaning house

The past months
or weeks
or days
I have been having deep, vivid, exacting dreams.
People of my past,
my mother,
my dad
and my love.
Last night;
Penny was in the dream:
she was the one whom i met when i first moved here to CT,
and our relationship of some 7 years (albeit not a perfect relationship)
was cut off by her death
for she succumbed to leukemia after treatments failed,
suddenly and unexpectedly
and i was working in the lab when she came to me,
speaking to me : "tell everyone I love them, I've got to go now."
And it was so profound,
 i sat down,
unable to continue to work for a bit.
Thirty minutes later i got the call that she had passed,
but i already knew.

The dreams?
They have been clearing my heart of grief unspoken and carried for so many years.
I wake up crying so many times theses past week,
but they are not tears of pain,
they are clearing the grief i have kept too long.
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