The past months
I have been having deep, vivid, exacting dreams.
People of my past,
and my love.
Penny was in the dream:
she was the one whom i met when i first moved here to CT,
and our relationship of some 7 years (albeit not a perfect relationship)
was cut off by her death
for she succumbed to leukemia after treatments failed,
suddenly and unexpectedly
and i was working in the lab when she came to me,
speaking to me : "tell everyone I love them, I've got to go now."
And it was so profound,
i sat down,
unable to continue to work for a bit.
Thirty minutes later i got the call that she had passed,
but i already knew.
They have been clearing my heart of grief unspoken and carried for so many years.
I wake up crying so many times theses past week,
but they are not tears of pain,
they are clearing the grief i have kept too long.