Discovery of what has gone

While i was away,
with old friends,
a discussion occurred.
The discussion was of chaos and disorder,
but then it went somewhere else.
"Joe, do you remember..." some one began.
"who prepared lunches when we all were together on Saturdays?"
A simple question, but i had no answer.
"You?" i asked feebly,
because what ever it was, was not there.
Everyone around the table became quiet,
they were looking at me and another asked,
"You don't know?"
I did not.
The first to ask the question responded,
gently, "It was you, Joe."
I know i gave a blank look,
for that was all that was in my mind.
Another, responded with a quiet assurance, "It was you".
There was no flood of memories that came back to me,
it was another space of time and place that had been rattled out of my being,
during that surgery.
Faint, hazy shadows have popped back into my head since,
but i can not tell if they are real
or just made up.
It feels very strange to know you do not remember,
to find holes of darkness,
where memory once was,
but i accept these and move on.