Thursday, August 6, 2015

traveling back

I finished one book, my memoirs of work and now wait a publisher to like it,
but i am on another journey now and it is more difficult.
I did not think it would be, but recounting "my survival" of the operation of the brain tumor that was against my brain stem has been difficult.
It is difficult because i must go back to re-read my blog entries at the time and there is much trauma.
I have put much of it out of my hear, as if that is difficult to do.
I have noticed gaps in memory, holes I call them.
It is not short term memory loss, that tests very good, it is the collective view of thing over days and weeks and months.
I want to fill the two years that vanished after the problems in the aftermath of the operation, but i can not, so i write about it.
I remember labeling my recovery as "the adventure", it still is.
i wish the problems were all gone, but they are not
and so i write and give meaning to what is my suffering and find peace.

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