some times

Some times,
i awake in a strange fog.
i am fully awake,
but not functioning.
i struggle to get gears in motion,
but even coffee does not help.
i go through routines and patterns,
things that normally help,
but to no avail.
The days are cold,
no scratch that,
freezing,
but the sun is out.
Even the dog,
with his heavy lab coat,
looks to me for comfort.
The night was worse...
i would call it inhuman
and so begins this holiday,
that has little meaning to me,
for there are more important things,
in  this life,
like living.

baby its getting cold outside

No, i do NOT like it, but it gives me opertunity to start doing my indoor cooking thing again.
I love the grill and the smoker,
but some of lifes truely great food comes from a slow cooker.
today i am preparing black beans - these will not be ready till tomorrow,
but i can wait.
The blend of spices mellowed by the black beans takes time.
chilies, cumin, beer, tomatoes, onion, cilantro, lime!
And of course - blacl beans.
A bit spicy, a bit sweet, a bit of acid, a bit of salt (sorry, no real bitter - the beer adds sweet)
Hearty!
Oh, but for tonight - there will be Ox tail soup - something my mom would make!
Usd to be the "peasant meal" because the beef tails were discaredNot any more!
The tail is full of flavor and mixed with the right vegtables - wonderful!
Maybe i will get pictures before it is all gone!

the start of Ox tail soup(stew?)

beggining the black beans

Now i am hungry it is time for breakfast!