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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


During this really strange time for me, I have been posting for to reasons;
1) to get my head together and 2) to make a record for me to see what did happen.
I am glad so many have kept up with this saga...but I know many of you would skim over the parts where I got 'spiritual' and I actually understand it. I will never try to make anyone believe what I believe, that just isn't right. What I believe and live with is for me and no one else.
As an example, one of the disabled people in my house is a professed athiest and has no trouble living with us, cause he is acepted as he is. With that, he doesn't try to change our beliefs either and our discussions become facinating. In our small community, there are many different beliefs, but one basic philosophy, we are strong enough in what we believe that we don't have to try to convince anyone we are 'right' and as a simple statement, we do not believe anyone has all the truth and that 'truth' can be found with anyone at any time.
Some of this comes about because of a simple discussion with my mother, who was reflecting on when I was on the fringes of the fundamentalist in college and she thought I felt closer to God then. My simple statement was "no, I was too arrogent then cause I really pushed my dad away with my strongness". I know the emotionalism was nice, but it was no indication of closeness and I know I am much firmer and much closer (If one can be) now.

One the other hand, the doctor was firm that he believes the double vision is primarily because there is still swelling at the surgery site and when that goes away, the sight will return to single vision.
Since I believe in all kinds of healing (including Doctors), I really am going to trust that this is true and I think I see improvement, but it is difficult to tell minute by munite, day by day.
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