Wednesday, November 12, 2008
of course getting better is an issue of facing pain. As my eye sight strains to come back to normal, I have headaches from muscle eye strain... An yes they are getting better! The struggle though is intense. Additionally cause I do not have that "pillow" of swelling in the back of my neck, the muscles are having to re-adjust...and that is muscle pain, some what alleviated with Advil (Neither Alieve nor Tylenol seem to work on this). Of course we are also in the middle of fall allergies and my sinuses are giving me grief and so this is 3 points of different pain, 2 of which are directly related to getting better. I will take the pain because I can now see the recovery. At night, when rods and black and white is the rule, I see singlely. In the mirror, I see one of me at close range. A counter top will appear with all of its items singlely, until something moves or I see past it. Distance is different. at 3 to 4 feet a pinpoint of laser light is correctly found on the right side, but at a distance it is found on the left. With this there is some nausea and so my weight is down still a bit more (and I could easily lose another 15 pounds without worrying). I was over weight before, but carried it well. I am still covered by my sick time, so I do not worry in that area (one true advantage for worrying for the city for 29 + years.) The advantage of still doing okay with all this still surprises me. I have found out what gifts all the people in my life are, even if they are not what I expected or what they presented. All of you who read and responded to this series have added something positive to me. Those in my life who connected added something to me. I have learned still more about what gifts are and I have learned more about suffering and pain than I wanted to.