I decided to take it easy today, especially after yesterday and fell asleep after church.
I woke feeling better, but with lots of things going through my head. We signed up for the next weekend that the church (St. John's Lutheran) is doing a meal for Pacific house. We were surprised, they feed 60+ people a meal. That is a lot of homeless or people who do not get regular meals in Stamford. It happens to be Easter Sunday, which is apparently a difficult Sunday to get people to volunteer, it is no biggy for us. It has been a long time since we did anything this large. When John, Dave and I were with the other few of us at Saint Luke's Chapel (Now known as St. Luke's Lifeworks) for 7 years we served 2000 meals a year to who ever was there.
The lady at the church was nice and gave us their formula for doing things. I have no problem with that, but then she wanted the church to pay for all the food. That was not our purpose, we were going to buy and prepare everything. I do not think she expected this and kept bringing up that the church would pay for the food. That's when I chimed in, "we are used to doing it this way, you are looking at 3 of the 7 people who started what is know known as St. Luke's Community Services, but it was the community at St. Luke's then." She stopped offering and that's when I had my reflections.
It seems that there has been a lot going on in me for a while. I used to have to prove that I knew everything and had to some how prove that I was the expert. What goes on me now is that there are things I am, and things I am not. To say that I know something does not prove anything about any one else, does not make me better than anyone else, but it does now represent a confidence I have in me.
I am a chemist and have worked at the Stamford Health Department for almost 30 years - I know something from direct experience about drinking water, Long Island Sound, wells, run-off, and beaches. In these things I am an expert.
In the process of my work, I have also dealt with forensics (and have training), food contamination, insects, Ticks, Lyme disease and a few other things. I am not an expert, but have significant experience.
I get by with clinical stuff, but the other people in the lab are much, much better at it than I.
I have worked with mentally ill for 30 years also (professionally through the DuBois Center, the mental health association and Family Centers) and know a bit about working with them. No, I am not an expert, Doctor or anything else, but sometimes I can help.
I have worked with the poorest, the outcasts and the struggling and can really relate to them.
I paint, my style. Some other people have enjoyed it and purchased my work. I am not expert on art, but I enjoy it.
I love all kinds of music and there seems to be no bounds to the genres I enjoy, Techno, Hip Hop, Trip Hop, Pop, Classical, Jazz, Big Band, New Age, etc... I am no expert, but I do enjoy music. I do not pretend to be a musician.
I love gardening and have been given insights from people far wiser than I, the garden I plant is usually beautiful.
I was also taught about stone work and laying brick and stone walks. It something I like and I think of my dad and another old friend every time I do it. I think they are there laughing at me or what I am doing because it is a continuation of them.
Those are my reflections, When i know something, I really know it. If I don't, I don't.
There is the scientist side who always asks why and there is the artist side, who always says that something is beautiful, enjoy.