Saturday, April 4, 2009

Frustration, complaining

Some times I feel I am complaining, some times I know I am! Last night everything kind of crashed down on me, the frustration, the dependence, the blahs and did I mention frustration? I have a short list of things to do, but if it takes a car or my eyes wig out, I am stuck. This even includes any thoughts of dating at this point and I have 2 (yes, I said 2) very kind women who have been helping me at times and have been true friends, that i would love to go further. One lives in NY, the other doesn't have a car.
I find my energy level after using my eyes even the half day to be incredibly low. It even makes going to the bank after difficult (I can walk that).
Yesterday, while making up standards for a test I was running, I "saw" the standard solution as 10 mg/L. When I added reagents, everything was much, much darker than it should have been. The solution was actually 100 mg/L. Now in one way that is a good thing, the glasses were pushing things together too much and that means that the eyesight is improving, but it makes it hard to work and really puts a strain on the eyes. It also creates more work when i have to redo everything.
I am trying to refinance my condo and looking at the paper work was a chore. I hope I filled it out okay.
I have to replace the battery in my UPS device. I have to buy it first. I do not know that I can do it.
The list actually goes on and on and on.
Ugh!
If I ever implied this was a cake walk, I was mistaken. It takes a lot of effort to maintain a positive attitude and some times, I fail.
Just as what is a normal example of the cascade effect... get a letter that a card has been compromised. This means I have to change certain automatic payment, first is successful, the second shows why the card was compromised, easy pass. They only required a 4 digit authentication, period. Try to fix that, they did, then try to get into my account. can not. After 2 tries, I run a snooper and sure enough, there is a DNS (denial of service) attack going on. JEEZE, I wish I did not know so much.
And that my friends adds to the frustration.

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