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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I am not always fine

I have a favorite techno (that's right, I enjoy techno) Artist named Robert Miles.
One of his songs has lyrics , one and one is one, where the refine is something like "I am not always fine".
I thought of this today because my attitude is not always up, sometimes I snap because of the difficulty of this sight thing, sometimes I am down.
I thought of this because the other day John (one of my biggest supporters) was holding the frige door open for me so I could get something.
He did not have to hold the door, he wanted to.
I reached in to get what I wanted and from my side sight, the door wavered and I pulled my head back quickly, knocking into the closed freezer door.
Of course, I had an immediate reaction and took it out verbally on John (he is not disabled) and then calmed down in a moment.
There are times when things happen, like that or when I can't stand up well or I start a coughing fit for no reason, that I get mad. I am not usually directing it at anyone, but the reality is all of this is very difficult and some times, not often, I lose it.
I am not all serenity and smiles, this is the hardest road I have ever taken and there are lots of rough spots in it.
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