Searching for memories

As I search for memories from last year,
a new door seems to have opened.
One older and further away,
They are glimpses of things,
both wonderful, fun and meaningful.
Last year is still missing,
but years past, things of joy and happiness no longer are missing.
They bring me up in this strange time,
of joy and wonderment.

They are very important,
I do not know how i came to be who I am.
They describe some of it for me.
The nightmares, the blackness from my past,
is being replaced by this happy time.
They are real, not fantasy,
Just as those dark memories are real and not nightmares.
It is changing a balance, toward the good.
I wonder because a sermon I heard was on speaking blessings,
I never heard them, I did not know my dad thought so much of me until after his death.
But I became someone, actually someone important,
with knowledge and reason that defies what was not said.

I now travel this unusal road that I am,
this road of recovery, seeing good changes,
but knowing I can not push myself, ut I want to do more.
My HEART Wants to do more.
There are limits to what a body can do,
but not so a heart.

See the muse is not dead, it is not hidden, it is with me all the time,
ready to come out with out notice and I am happy.