I am really not that smart,
for if i were i would not wear so many hats at work.
i would play the person with limitations beyond just exhaustion and vision and balance.
I would not be the mechanic, the chemist, the database administrator, the microbiologist, the entomologist, the computer programmer, the statistical analyst, the customer service representative and on and on switching out throughout my shortened day.
How silly of me to know so much, to be willing to just give away all the information i have accumulated in this bruise head.
My coworkers look at me and whisper, "he's not doing so bad." and then they leave me alone to the flood of customers and questions and samples.
My bench is full, papers and samples and reagents in unordered pills and stacks while i try to complete just one.
My friends know me better and expect little and are worried.
I am worried.
I need to get away,
but away may mean more work of a different kind,
with more emotion demanded.
In my dreams, only in my dreams.
Silly, silly me.