The slow, but sure road to getting on with life

I still seem to have a thousand things to do.
I am still waiting for paperwork and such,
but it is only 2 weeks (less by a few hours).
It still seems sureal and i am not sure of anything.
"All is in order, this is the way things are", a therapist says to me,
but it seems so wrong that there is any order at all.
I have found that i have a huge support system and a lot of people who care about me.
It does not seem it is over, but the pieces are coming back together.
This happens to everyone and so it is not strange and yet for me it is....

An Ending

I misspoke earlier,
For I have never been in an earthquake,
Nor a tsunami.

Yet, I have experienced a hurricane and
severe costal thunderstorms.

It began slowly at first,

But the height of the storm,

I could never have guessed.

The lightening and the waves struck with unending fury…

In those very few moments.

I thought I could not bear

And monstrous wave,

Washed me out to sea

And I began to drown.

Tumbling with the shock of the waves,

Pulling me out to sea.

I lost sight of land of land and hope and breath

And when I thought I was done,

Strong hands grasped me and brought me to the surface.

More hand grabbed me and began to pull me back to shore,

While insignificant fish

Nibbled at my toes,

Wanting me to join them in the crushing depths of the sea.

To a sandy shore I was brought and bore up and breath restored to me.

There was now something different about this shore,

For my mother was missing from it,

But I was alive to remember her.

They do not tell you, that when you try to do and prepare for an end, that even if everything is in place. The decisions must be made again. The doctors must hear from your own mouth all that was written and prepared for.

The agony of the end was not at the end, but before, when those decisions had to be made again and recorded.

The result though was that my mom passed peacefully, at 3:15 PM on Saturday, March 26th, 2011.