once my life felt as if it were a huge cavern
of some unnamed hunger
that i kept trying to fill.
Deep and all encompassing it was
and in every action,
good or bad,
there was an attempt to fill this yawning yearning deep inside.
Every effort i made failed.
And then ,
in the tragedy (?) of my adventure,
i found it filled,
not by me,
but perhaps by God himself.
I have no other explanation.
No person could fill it
and i tried to get many to do so.
They could not,
the task was too great
and many fled.
Some remained,
not understanding,
but some how attracted to that gaping hole, my pain.
Now it has gone,
tho i did nothing to make it go,
but it is filled.
It seems that the passing of my mother assisted me in this,
I can not explain
nor comprehend what that means.
It seems others come,
marveling at my wisdom (?),
I laugh,
Wisdom?
Pain which heals pain?
I can not understand.
but now,
Now those who were attracted to my pain,
have fled!
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