The reason that i am leaving the workplace that i have been for 33 years.
It is not because it is dull.
It is not because it has changed,
because it has and that has always been what thrilled me,
no the reason is found in what the doctors still do not have an answer for.
Today i went for an appointment that every note i had written said was at 11 AM today.
Tomorrow i go to an appointment at 9:45 PM that every note i had written said was today at 9:15 PM.
The first appointment was yesterday,
today's appointment is tomorrow.
Even outlook's calender (something i never use) fooled me.
The doctors have ruled out dementia and Alzheimer's.
They say my cognitive ability is "superior", what ever that means,
but i get exasperated at my confusion.
i hear people say; "it happens to me too",
but that kind of confusion did not happen to me
and now it does.
and it is my problem,
is that i still at times do not understand how i could get things so wrong and misplaced.
There is no "organic" reason for this according to the doctors,
no cognitive misstep,
it just happens.
I can not continue to work like this.
I am frustrated.
There is retirement for me,
but without a cause - it is not disability retirement.