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Born a Texan, but traveled the US extensively.  Now staying on the East coast.

Monday, January 6, 2014

those feelings of unease

they came upon me suddenly,
i was not sure of the source,
for there were several things going on,
clarity eluded me.
In the midst of this unsettleness,
i took a course of action to allow me to see more clearly,
i withdrew.
Not just withdrew from a situation,
but from general contacts;
deactivated my Facebooks account,
turned off my phone.
I needed space, time.
I did not wish to hurt anyone,
but in that unsettled feeling,
i know i might say something that would.
Minimum contact with people,
save for those who have known me for 30 plus years.
I was insulated and could sort out my feelings.
Anger was at one root,
feeling useless at another.
Feeling played, still one more root.
Feeling concerned about a situation was still one more.
They combined, each from a different source,
for a different reason,
to create the monster i was feeling.
Clarity began to occur as another near me,
voiced the same feelings.
Two of the feelings were unimportant,
two were the issue,
but i would not have found out
if i had not withdrawn into my shell.
Strange how that works.
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