on my mind for a bit

An odor of fresh brewed coffee,
wafts through my closed door upstairs
and wakens me.
I slow trudge downstairs,
and grab a cup of the hot liquid
and return to my room.
Sitting up with a sip of coffee in my mouth
and the odor still stronger,
i begin to think
or is it pray,
but there is so mush more than mere asking going on here.
I am thankful for each day,
even though i am confused by so much.
It no longer feels like i am alone,
but more like i should not be here.
If i were down in a somewhat warmer place,
would that change?
I think so.
I am still some what withdrawn
and the multiple things i feel i must do,
take a tremendous amount of effort.
I am confused still about the people near me,
what they think,
how they act.
I feel resentment emanating from them
and it is beyond my capacity to under stand this.
A stranger came up to me the other day
and began uttering words that were very soothing to me,
though we did not know each other,
this person spoke of things of me,
as if they did.
I still believe God speaks through anything
and i try to open to listen
and so i received this also.
The coffee is finished
and i am awake and ready for what the day brings.