if you want to get to know me - read the entire post

in this space,
i have taken the time to share,
 all the different things that go on with
all the different struggles i have,
the pain,
the joy,
new directions,
passion and
all my emotions,
but who i am is not defined by these things or events.
There is deep history in my life,
some 38 years of history
and that is the community i am a part of.
In some sense it is small,
but there have been great things done anyway.
Out of a Episcopal community church in Houston, Texas,
The Church of the redeemer.
The church is no more,
but the community is in many places across the world.
Our little portion came to Stamford, CT.
Our base was Christianity,
but we have never been closed to be around any faith,
and yes there have been atheist who worked with us at times.
We chose an unusual path;
to be completely part of wherever we lived.
We did not separate ourselves as so many "orders" do,
we remain fully part of everyday life around us.
This is not the easy road and it creates the struggles you read about here.
We were best known as "The community at St. Luke in Stamford, CT".
Our distinction was and ornate small silver cross we wore,
based on the caricature of St. Luke's symbol.
while we helped run  an emergence shelter,
a food co-op,
an after school program,
a clothing exchange,
a feeding program,
a counseling center
and a summer camp.
We lived with the people who we "ministered to",
 there was do distinction except that little cross.
We were under the Episcopal church
and had the distinction of being the "true inner city church",
 according to Desmond Tutu , when he visited Connecticut in the 1980's.
We lived and worked there for 7 years before moving on,
Still in Stamford, but in a different place, many times having the mentally handicapped live with us.
My commitment to my community is more real than any vow taken.
We take care of each other, though many times i wish there were more to us.
We look to be part of the struggles of those around us.
It is not easy,
it is a life of service
and sometimes,
just sometimes,
bright lights shine to us and give us hope.

not quite settled yet

While much has been accomplished,
some on the miraculous side,
there is still so, so much to be done.
While my mom is settling into a place with much more care,
i am trying to take care of her buisness.
I do not have that much time
and yes,
i am overwelmed,
even with much help.
i am down many times,
even tho there is much to really celebrate.
What a time is this,
it is not fun.
I am fortunate that the blah snow piles are melting now...

Why?

who are oppressed?
Why does a smile mean so much to me?
Why will I speak my mind and not back down, when I am right?
Why do I search for some one in need, where just a smile cheers them?
Why do I tackle every question with my full attention?
Why do I look for kindness from people?
Why do I cry at happy endings?
Why do I fight for people?
Why do I believe you must look carefully and find out as much as possible, instead of saying I do not want to know?
These are defining questions of me.

A low day

Today was a low day, quiet, little energy, so I posted a couple of environmental things, clean a little and cooked a bit. Yesterday, I had so much energy and cooked a turkey for New Years day dinner. Had one person over, besides the other 3 guys and felt really up. I wanted to be out today, but the weather really didn't like me. I am glad I have Greek blood in me (half), cause the decorations stay up till after 3 Kings days (little Christmas). That was a least cheery, but I wanted to do something, but had no direction. I read recently that night owls are more creative and that is what i was, but not now. I will get back there, just getting ready for my next steps.

Still moving

I am still tempted to write an environmental post especially for those of you looking to find homes in the area. I have nothing to sell, but 29 years of environmental work makes me kind of an expert in the field. Okay, THE expert in the field, but not yet.
A quote from on of the blogs of note:
A musician must make music, a painter must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be.

--Abraham Maslow

Has set me on my blogging path, continuing a diatribe that I started the other day. In me lives the poet (hidden for many years, but it was there), the painter (it is back), the cook (okay, at home chef), the investigator, the scientist, the tinkerer and all the other things that are screaming to burst out and exist. To beauty exists in each thing I now encounter and my expression of them are out of control.
Again I am amazed.