Do I get anxious or board while here?
Yes I get anxious, they are doing tests, but don't have answers to where the fever came from...they have one bug, but it is not a clear answer. And the fever seems to lead to some messed up day time dreams and loss of energy and need to sleep. It maintains some level of confuson as to how long I will be here.
Where does that faith that I keep talking about cone in?
Noone ever promised it would ever be easy, any time any where - not Jesus, not Buda not any of the great Eastern thinkers nor any of the great american indian religions, none of them.
I actually think that if some one thought or said it would be easy, I would run, not walk away. I will also quickly say that I know I am like everyone else, I want the easyway out. And in this stay I gave that up at the begining.
Board? never, my life has never been board and even with my 'life' stopped dead in its tracks, I am not board. I can think of others, I can pray, I can try to peek at what God is doing and be mystified in a wonferful way cause I am not afraid.
When, I left off, I was an offical member of St John's Episcopal chuch and of course The community of St Lukes. EVERYTHING EXPRESSED IS STRICKLY MY OWN RECOLECTION OF A JOURNEY, NOT DISSIMILAR TO THE JOURNEY i AM ON NOW OR THE JOURNEY FROM HOUsTON THE STAMFORD.
More people came to help out in the ministries at St. Lukes and I do not remember the sequence of how they happened. A food co-op was formed for the neigborhood and we would go down to Hunts point once a week and buy things by the case and resell it at a 10% mark-up. People came and this got big. A small fee to join and people would come in and help setup and help sell and help clean up! It was exciting because it was something that was for people that was not an 'emergency' situation. There was also a free food pantry for those who really did not have that was also used alot. I loved working with the food coop, even getting up at 3 in the morning to go down to Hunts' point, where all these gruff dock workers wood guide us into the thins we should and should not buy and it wasn't always the cheapest, but they had a sespect for 'the church' and us and we had trust that they would guide us right. Mostly we brought back fruits and vegtables and learned about new fruits, the mango for instance, I had not seen before. we bought things that the people requested and then we expandend to cheeses. It was an incredible experience from start to finish, which was about 6 at Vakencias backery with a turniver and coffee. We unloaded and I went of to work and if I was a little late I would bring some fruit for everyone and work through lunch. I would get back in time to finish off the selling and clean up. t was wonderful.
A clothing exchange was set=up where again donations came in and we and helpers from the neighborhood would sort the good from the washable from the garbage. And agains we would sell bags of clothing the sameday we had the co-op.
Why sell? Weren't these people in need? Yes they were very much in need, but you want to preserve their dignity and if they pay even 10 cents for something, ther is a feeling of it being yours, not someones hand-me down. And if you volunteer at the place you bought it, It brings a whole new meaning to the word "Ownership".
The people in the neighborhood realized we were part of the neighborhood and we got respect for that.
Some people joined the services, and that was nice, but that was really not why we were ther (do not tell the episcopal church), The services were for ourselves.
The once despised summer camp became a highly respected one. Some other chuch members came in, some understanding... some not. Volunteers from other parts of the world (Japan and germany, I remember) came. One of the neigborhood children adopted us and particularly Frank. Things were good and then we started working with the stse mental health section to see if we couldn't work with that group of disabled people. We rented a house and started with 3 men, who were delightful, ut truely troubled.
Somewhere the donation end and food co-op end becane so big, that we rented a truck and then bought a van. We started to get furniture and that when through the clothing exchane. I remember working with the workfare people, who many were having alhocol problems, but they would come give completely, working hard. Going away with some food and the proper number of hours completed for a week. That was good.
Chuches would come in on Thursday nights to provide meals to the residents ofthe shelter and the volunteers(us too, remember this was done without a paycheck).
In all of this I won't claim any more than the grunt work portion, it really was Frank's vision and energy and dynamics that brough it all together and he and the executive secratary were the only peroson recieving a small salary. Me I got to learn what a ripe mango was, from one of the neighbor at the food co-op.
Things were not easy and there were many struggles, but we got through them.
There were some blackdays, one where I was involved with someone I shouldn'y have been, where I got to see how rathful the fundamentalist mind could be, Frank and Marie and Walter stood behind me and fought for me in that one.
Then Penny contracted(?) leukemia and died after only a very little bit. Then we saw how little the church in general really cared about us, cause they would not provide other volunteers so thst we could morn or take a day off for reflection or rememberance.
By this time I had been at the Health Department for several years, the environmental company had changed my results from some of my testing in a report to the parent company. I complained and was told the change was insignificant. I left and several years later the parent company folded over that misinformation - not too significant.
I had managed to reconsile with my parents and had even made a surprise visit to them in Houston, I had also deeply bonded with Frank's Father who was in his late 70's. We would go out to different diners amd places in the area ust to go out and have a bit of fun. Stamford was not on our list of having fun, Sleepy Hollow was, Mistic was, Rhode Island was. Sometimes the ice cream place by west beach was, mameroneck many times was. Sorry Stamford, you don't make the grade even for old people.
Public health was wonderful and terrible at the same time. I was brought in because of the applicants, I was the only one with experience in environment testing. My ranking in the testing was 4. So i got to learn the ropes, then I started changing things and learning things and I would make a couple of mistakes, mostly because in the winter and early spring we were not busy and it left me with too much time on my hands.
They sent me to an entomolegy class and a pool chemistry class and a class on running the blood machines, then they gave me a computer.
Slowly we turned up the volume on the environmental testing, I starting getting samples from local environmental groups, talked with the Noth Stamford association and got poeple interested in testing their wells. I started expanding the kinds of testing we were able to do and let my curiosity go wild. My boss encouraged all of this and now there is no down time (here this city residence) for me, just busier times. And no there is no way the person that is left and my boss can add to what they do either, so what I used to do is no longer occuring.
So todays dark news is that they still don't know the infection source, that the vanco didn't immediately fix it is also ther concern. They also found a small spot in the lungs, which makes them wonder if I am aspirating "things" anyway. They still have some tests pending and another one to do...and may be more because my hemoglobin has dropped significantly.
some of these might explain the crazy loss of energy I have been experiencing suddenly with no warning. I am not worried about the vanco - I don't care what antibiotic it is, things take time, we aren't spraying chlorox on the bacteria. The lung thing is a bit worring because I do not want to go through he forced cough therapy to clear it...it would hurt to much. The hemoglobin thing has me the most worried, cause I have never experienced low hemoglobin and tho it explains a lot, it is something new and I really do not waant to deal with any more 'new' things of this naature.
So read in peace all. Hope the randomization from the hospital bed give some insight in the person JoeyK
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