It's Gone, is there nothing sacred?

Back in 2008,
I posted a memorial to a friend and coworker - Sergio de Jesus.
A bench had been placed in a park where he often reached out to people who were in trouble...
he worked with persons with HIV or AIDS and tried to help him.
He passed away due to his own health issues, but showed such courage...
The bench has been removed.
I do not know why, but there is something seriously wrong with this town to remove such a memorial.

I re-post the picture in remembrance

Stamford Restaurants - the proliferation of "Mexican"

 The word Mexican is in parenthesis for a reason...
I cook at little Mexican, but is more Tex-Mex than anything - iNever needed anything else because growing up there was just so much very, very good Mexican food around me (in Houston).
Then i came to Stamford and there was nothing...I mean nothing. 
A few years later i found two that could pass and they are still in buisness, nothing fancy, just simple everyday Mexican and in a style that i was familiar with.
Now suddenly there are 6 new  "Mexican" restaurants - I can not stand any of them.
Maryann's - Good place to get drunk - margaritas are okay - i found the food to be tasteless.
Riviera Maya - a step up from Maryann's, but still issues with taste - one other friend called it horrible - i did not find it horrible, but not great
Bar Rosa - I have not been there and do not know anyone who has.
Lolas - I also have not been there, but again i noticed it is absent from OmNomCT .
Now we get a new player - Picante -  They opened last week and gave out samples of Chips and salsa during the Bedford Street Festival.  Based on that taste, i won't be back.  Perhaps i am unfair.
And soon to open, Bar Taco on lower Summer St.
If i am in Stamford, I think i will stick to the following - The Taco Truck near Yerwood center - very, very good, simple California style Mexican
Ole Mole - very good Moles - well put together and taste!
Tacos Guadalajara - simplicity at its best for a Mexican taste.

Outside of Stamford there are many good ones and there are a few smaller places i have not gone, but the new set is the pits!

On Stamford - The Scap metal "thing"

I do not do much posting on Stamford any more
First, i think Stamford is a boring little town with a weird attitude
Second, i find its politics trite, mean spirited and confusing.
The scrap metal "thing" is a good example to me.
In the trade "Building and equipment maintenance), the common practice is to use what is discarded in a rebuild and use it for the employees benefit (lunch, coffee, etc).   This i get from tradesmen in the industry NOT associated with the city.
The amount is too small to do much else (even though copper is really priced high now).
Remember, many of these trades persons also work in or for corporations, they also get bonuses and significant tips and office parties (even in these tough times and note so do all those bankers who had to get bailed out by us).
As a city employee, I get no bonuses, no merit raises and any "tip" is limited to a value under $50 (even at Christmas).
Any office party is held out of the office, on our own time and at our own expense.
Someone wants to make a big deal.
Now granted any small business owner, who works for himself and or has only an employee or two, has not enjoyed any of the comforts the corporate boys get and have been suffering during this time and i can understand why they get upset, why should anyone get what they can not.  but even they, if they have a customer base do get certain "extras" from their customers (hey, i have been there also).
I still think this is misplaced anger over having to bail out the really rich people, who still partied on all of our backs!
I can think of many other things to get mad at...
btw, did you know that the quasi-empire called the WPCA has had holiday parties every year (except last year) at our expense, they bill you directly now and you can not even deduct that fee!

Only about the little town Stamford

2 posts today - this one only about local Stamford items
Snow this morning!@&
It is about 2  or 3 weeks later than normal, we will see what tomorrow brings.
Movie "we the people"  Shooting sometime soon at Cove Island beach - they are going in the water, so I wonder if there is any sanity in the movie.
Fairway market - I went on Wednesday (okay you can doubt MY sanity), lots of people, some interesting things i don't see other places, not very exciting and not cheap.  Lots of employees EVERY Where, figure half will be gone by Easter.
I did notice that all the other stores in the area were matching Fairways "loss leaders",
other wise - Ho hum.
Headlines here, headlines there - all about politics, all personal stupidness - it is really getting boring.
Stamford, is not an exciting place to me, I hope we have another blog and grog soon.
Oh yes, tomorrow going to Byram to Lolita's  for a special day for me.  Even not real "Mexican" (I call it trendy American interpretation), it is far better than Stamford's Mariann's and the Mayan Riviera (Heck, the Taco Truck and Tacos Guadalajara are better than those two!).Enough of Stamford.

Stamford news - Curley's diner

Many have said that there has been little good coming from the current mayor, but i will say that i have found a significant one.
two sides of the fence that encircled Curley's diner has been taken down.
This was put up as an act of punishment for not selling out to a new development and it caused many problems for a long time for the establishment. but it is gone mow and I am glad!

A day makes a difference

I went for a walk today and the sleepy Sunday town that was Stamford was not. There was a lot of traffic, a lot of poeple, the little shops on Bedford were open and there was business.
My first stop was looking at the unusual thing they are doing at the Mill River. What a mess! Half way through to what??? Ugh.
Walked further and stopped by Curly's Dinner. It is a hole in the wall, a greasy spoon that serves a true purpose. Their clientele will never be able to go to Napa or Market or Duo. They are not loaded with vermin as the rumors purports. They have fought a successful fight against eminent domain and general harassment from businesses who want them gone. The owners are friendly (and they are Greek as well and women as well) and really do serve a purpose. I know that those in power want the poor and homeless out of Stamford, but while they remain, Curly's will be here.
My walk down Bedford Street found the little farm market (touted as a French market by the powers that be). It was pleasant and not any different than what was at Columbus Park in years past. Fresh produce, baked gods and jellies and a small tea vendor (Ducky Life Tea). All was clean and pleasant and i bought some tea.
A very nice time to be out as it was less humid than the previous 2 days and there was a good breeze.
My only wish is that there would be NO traffic on Bedford (close it! and reroute traffic).

Sidewalks and attitude.

So I get to go back to the optometrist/head trauma specialist in NY tomorrow.
I am a bit anxious, there is a lot going on with the eyes, but the adventure is not over yet.
I was hoping that it would be over, but i will wait it out.
It is the getting better that is making my life significantly more difficult, but i am not complaining. The vision is getting better.

Walking to and from work gives an interesting perspective on Stamford.
The drivers are rude and unsafe for the most part, but there are gems out there. We need more of those people here.
Stamford is not the most pedestrian friendly city, but then there are times you feel like a prince (as in "Coming to America"). The cherry blossoms fall like a carpet and are beautiful!
The space is wide enough for two or three easily.


Most times it is like this:


Trash cans and light posts make it so you might have single file traffic.
For some one with significant visual problems, the legs for the fence can cause a tripping problem.
The ways are tight and built, not for pedestrian traffic, but so businesses can hawk their space.

Working fo the City

I had some one read the comments for the letters to the editor about the board of fiances anti 3% thing.
If I told you that I am surprised at the animosity I heard in the remarks, would you be surprised?
I have worked for the City of Stamford for almost 30 years, I have worked in large and small corporations and independent labs as well. I did well in the big oil company, but it was not my thing. I did not do well with the secrecy and disregard for consumers health in the small corporation. i was down right disgusted with the lies and falsifications in the independent lab.
I came to work for the city because i thought I might make a difference. I was right. In the 30 years that i have worked I think I have managed to help over half the population in one way or another, through tick testing or lead screening or rabies testing or water analysis or forensic testing or screening for bio terrorist agents or just giving oput freely the mass of information i have accumulated over these 30 years on any number of topics.. Some times I can not help, most of the times I can.
I didn't take the job for the money, but at the time the money was okay even compared to offers I had from other corporations in the area.
I did not take the job for the benefits, but as everyone reading this blog knows, I needed and am using those benefits during a very difficult time.
I work as a chemist, but my title is a lab technician. The work I do would get me at least 20 K more a year in the private sector, but i would not be happy and it would not help people the way i do now.
Could I do with out a 3% increase this July, yes, but i also make on the high end of the scale for the union that I am in. I do have a problem with the issue that it seems to be a pissing contest between the Board of Representatives and the Board of Finance and I do have a problem with the way people talk about people who work for the city as if they are less than nothing.
Most of us live here to.

An afternoon in the life of a neighborhood

I sit on our porch.
It is the only open porch on the street, all the others have been converted to "rooms".
The sun shines warmly on my arms , the wind is cool on my face. I wear a flannel shirt, unbuttoned and rolled up my arms. It feels good.
There is a dove cooing on the line, there are children from the neighborhood playing out in the street. This street is safe for children, it is short, looks like a dead end, but isn't and is very narrow.
Cars cannot go fast, even if they wanted to.
The children play and laugh. A parent comes out and checks on them, everything is fine, The children continue paying and laughing.
It is a mixed group, Latin, polish, Jamaican, Haitian, Anglo.
There are more than 5 languages spoken on the street. The kids communicate in English.
They laugh.
There are Italian, Anglo, Polish, Haitian, American Blacks, Jamaicans, people from Trinidad and from various Latin countries.
There are renters and owners living together.
Their children play together.

The children are all laughing and playing together.
The kids pass me and all say hi. They always say hi and I always say hi back. They are nice, respectful and ready to engage any adult in conversation. Sometimes they ask for help with things they can't do themselves. I try when I can.
They are still laughing and playing.
A parent scurries off to a second job.
The street is two way, but usually only one car can really pass at a time. there is parking only on one side. The temperature is in they upper 50's, the sun is shinning strongly, the wind is gentle.
The Forsythia are bright yellow in the garden in front of my house.
The children are still laughing and playing.
The sun has gotten warm. It is peaceful and beautiful. I am tired from a full part time day of work.
This is a Stamford mixed neighborhood!
There are not many left.
This is what this town should be like.

Malloy on Fox News!

Stamford, the place that works? reported that Malloy was on Fox news yesterday during the day and did well. I did not see it, did anyone else? I generally do not even want to watch Fox cause of the agitation it creates. I am not into being agitated.

A little browsing

I did something insane yesterday when I was in my strange mood of low energy and frustration at not being able to really do anything (yes, a strange combo, but then I am). There are 420 people who have blogged and say they are from Stamford. Now there are a number of Stamfords in the world, but a number of blogs were from Connecticut. An awful lot were Asian, talking of various things that would not be of interest to me (Indian politics, religion, being pregnant and the like), but some were interesting: 'Really?' was a fun read, 'Blah Blog Blah - Thoughts That Don't Matter' actually has a following as a humor blog and one who apparently is following and knows something about the inner workings of the city 'Stamford, the place that works?' Of course, I did not realize that a number of people use this as a free advertisement for thier private buisness and some set-up a blog cause it was a school progect. ow I only went through about half of the 420 and most had one or two posts some time ago and then they stopped, some had no posts at all and I wonder if they were just starting. I Wonder if I had not had my adventure, with the time and the need, would I still post? Other blogs I liked '1000 Wise Women Coffee Chat' and that was another one with a following and 'Cogito Ergo Suma' a person who posts their iPod for sketching (Gad, I think I want one!), but she is good!
See what happens when you have a lot of time, are frustrated as all get out and have a computer?
I promise to review all of them and report back another day.
Oh one thing I will not do. there are a number of teens b logging and I will not be reporting n them.

Doctors

In the processes of last year, met a number of doctors, many of the doctors were during my adventure and some were beyond excellent and others were awful. I will shout out for the the best!
1) Dr. VipalhumarBhalodiya - a mouthful to say and yes Asian Indian, my Primary care doctor and if every primary care doctor could be like him - this world would be a better place. I was in the hospital for almost a total of 7 weeks during my adventure, I do not believe he missed a day visiting me and checking on my progress. He is easy to talk to and is really up on a lot of medicine. He s very proactive (though not a specialist) in things in this area that matter (Lyme disease). I have been fortunate that he has been the orchastrator of my recovery, pulling specialist when ever they are called for.
2) Dr. Rosenstien - the neurologist/surgeon who pulled of the operation that got rid of the tumor pressing against my brain stem. Not an easy operation and it worked, I lived and am able to write about it. Also good at coming by, scheduling, being informative and pulling help for me when I needed it. I would also say that for all his knowledge, he was quick to say he learned by the things I went through, That is a plus. He was highly recommended to me before the procedure and I would do the same.
3) A host of doctors at Stamford Hospital who worked with my very demanding primary care doctor to get me through things. There were some I might not think highly of, but by far, the majority were very good and informative.

Other honorable mentions:
Dr. Adler-Kline - I have known her bu reputation at the health Department as one of those very proactive with epizootic (read Lyme and other tick borne diseases) diseases, but I got to met her as part of the team treating me in the December Hospital stay. Very impressive.
Dr. Louise Resor - a neurologist called in also during my December stay. I have met her before, when she followed some serious problems David was having. She showed a lot of concern and caring for him and her follow-up with him was excellent.
Dr. Bruce Klenoff - an ear, nose and throat doctor who showed up at some ungodly hour at night during my first stay at the hospital because of some issues I was having, again at the request of my primary care physician.


For the bad, I will not mention any names, just that some who have decades of experience, know too much and are not open to new occurrences. Some showed too much prejudice ((Surgery is not medicine???? And expressed out loud in ICU). Others cling to old ideas and seem not willing to realize that Stamford, CT is in the epicenter of Lyme disease, do not seem to follow even the minimal CDC guidelines for it (yes, this has nothing to do with my adventure), and still believe the effects of said disease are in peoples head.

I guess my concept of a good Doctor is one who is proactive about things, keeps themselves abreast of new info and can talk to the patient.

Well there it is!

Any one else surprised?

In Stamford the Sewer tax is a separate enity, and that means that they get to have prety much whatever they want. They warned us about the up coming increase, but 60 % is what mine came out to be and I do not like taxation without representation. Anyone else surprised? Or upset?

okay the test results are in

and they show significant improvement even from last week. The only area we don't see an improvement is in the actual eyesight/double vision.
But ny compensation for it in being able to walk and do things has improved geatly. I walked with out a mechanical aid todya(yes, some one was watching out for me).
The therapist challange me and I challege my self and things do change.

A long time ago I spent two months in Va Beach snd loved it, after my Dad died, I spent some time getting my mom back there so she could be with her family and in a comfortable invironment and with her family (who are to numerous to count).
That is my future location, when Stamford finally lets me go, we all have a place to be together, and besides my mom's place, I have a place to be.
The area has a lot more people than Stamford and yet I have witnessed acts of kindness and courtsey that I have never seen in Stamford.
An example - a series of heay traffic mergers where everyone alternated so there was an even traffic flow and it was not because there was a cop or even traffic signs to suggest it, it just happened.
Yes, sometimes people do stupid things and there are accidents, but it is more becuase people are doing stupid things, rather than the blatant aggression that I see in Stamford.
People not only walk in the cross walks provided, but cars stop for them! Unheard of in Stamford.
Virginia Beach is a new city, incorporated after WWII, yet they seem to have found themselves and are comfortable with it, yet I know they go through adjustments on a regular basis.

Maybe Stamford needs a little more time to become well adjusted.

Stamford vs Connecticut

I just finished watching one of my favorite 'feel-good' movies , when fools rush in. Part of the reason it is a favorite is because they tipify CT people with money. This has been done many times before, including with 'Guess who's coming to dinner' from a long time ago.
The typification tho I think remains somewhat accurate: a little ecsentric, a bit self centered, a little out of touch, a lot stiff, but friendly, okay, a lot out of touch and self centered, and always trying to be nice and accepting and never quite making it because of the other issues. To me Stamford has been trying to break out of the mold for at least 30 years, but has kept the bad qualities and lost the quaint, positive qualities. So when people talk about Stamford and its problems, it kinda roasts at the heart. It wants to be New York, and that would br positive, I think, but hasn't quite gotten there and with a lot of people fighting that path, I think it has taken on bad qualities. So let us become a little New York, really. It is either that or go back to the sleepy little town it was 30 years ago either one would be better than its current place.

Funny, I almost never watch TV when I am home, now I get to see all the crazy different movies I never did before, example Dirt Harry, yea, I am a bit behind times.

Mean while, my room did not leak last night, like others on my floor, I slept well and I saw a little improvement in my vision this morning.

Reflections

I have been very intense in the struggle of survival the last several weeks, working at physical recovery while I blog about who I am, spiritually, emotional, how my past lead me to little old Stamford and my struggles here.

The eye sight is still a mess tho improved. the ability to swallow food is really much improved and the pneumonia seems to be vanishing, balance and walking are improved, but I still need a walker to keep me on my feet.
When I first came here I was almost in a dreamland and at that time I was only working on me. and I am back to looking inside. See I can be very controlling and in some ways that is good - while here I have let thated part good, things happen at home and I am unfazed, I actually do not want to control anything. There was a short temptation to take things back, but I will not. People will fit or not into my life and it is better if I am surprised b that. I will not be forcing things.
The other part of me is very very impulsive, this will take more work and as I work with physical therapy, I can see how much I want how quickly and it just doesn't work that way. I have to slow down or I will fall on my face. Yes I can stand without support. but I need something near by to grab when I lose my energy. I want to run uo the stairs, but I have to walk slowly.

Back to Stamford, my involvement with the mentally disabled has always been positive even when things did not go that well, I could always learn and respect that they were trying to the best of their ability. These are people do not understand because they are different and don't always look so 'normal' and I relate to that. I also can relate to the working poor who are so plentiful in Stamford, that most of us don't even see as people passing us by. Theyexist and are mostly mistreated by all of us and some times even the rukes design to protect them.
Stamford is a very selfish city and one day when it grows up, there will room and acknowledgment for all these people.
Meanwhile at night I would continue to work with Scott, One of his companies was providing first class music for hotels and restaurant around the nation. He works closely with a restaurant group out of Greenwich called CB5.
He provides the DJ music to most of the clubs in the area including the GRAND, Twenty, the Dragonfly, Barcelona, Baang and many more out of the area. It is fun going to his special events and helping lug his stuff and dancing to his music.
I also am one of his IT people and things can be fun as well.

so maybe I know a little about Stamford, its nightlife and some of the drama that goes on in the restaurants. I do have some fun.

An d soon slowly, I will get back to it.

more tomorrow.

Improvement

Today has been a good day. Tho my eye sight seemed to take a slight step backwards from my view, apparently this is only an adjustment to the physical adjustments that are bringing my eyes alighnment to normal.
they took me off the IV antibiotic, and gave me permission to use my .walker unassisted in my room. Both of these item are huge. I walk an entire hallway using a cane. This was also huge. My eating has been better, but still has problems, there are improvements that I can see over time, but not day by day.

Afte St. Lukes the ones of us who stayed together still did things for the mentelly disabled population through Frank at family centers.
I also got a chance to hang even more with Franks' son because he was into music. He had a band called Rubin Kinkad and played sometimes in the hallway of the shoppes of olde main street under the mall particularly for park row grill.
Lots of fun. Scott also beceme a DJ and start working at willow street in Post Chester and Mirible in Stamford (long torn down, but on park place and used to be a comedy club) and the Art Bar also on Park Place ( now the spanish club). Stamford was not a happening place, but it was improving and was somewhat 80's in the downtown, but very limited.
I enjoyed haging out with him., helping lug his equipment and dancing to the music.
The one thing about Stamford and its restaurant and night life - it all ways changes and I WOULD SAY IT IS BECAUSE EVERY ONE WANTS TO BE ENTERTAINED and are very fickle.
What works today will not work tommorrow and that is really what Stamford is.
Somewhere in this time I lost my best friend, who was Frank's Father and 84 at the time. He died exactly yhe way he wanted to.. we were on vacation in Virginia, we had a seafood dinner together and the next morning I had to take him to the hospital cause he wasn't breathing right
He didn't want to go, but I took him anyway, and just 2 days later, he died.
He had wanted to be away fom his family, doing something fun with his best friend and he wanted it to be quick. He got all his wishes.
I only hope to be that clear and that fortnate when it is my time.

I do know I did not use any vacation time for many months.
Scott continue his sucesses and had several billboard top dance tunes with his remixes, then he went in to Raves.
He was firm his parties would be 'striaght edge' mean drug use was not tolerated.
The first party we through was in Norwalk at the Globe theater and we confiscanted 3 boxes of drugs because no one believed we would really be straight edge. I was working with forensics at the time and had them destroyed though our own police. Everyone was also surprised, they had fun even without the drugs and the party was monetrially succesful for us.
We ran a monthly party for some time before expanding. As a DJ, scott was in demand from Florida to England, but he stuck to places he could drive to. He ran parties from upstate .NY to Massachussetts to NJ.
He ran a massive party in Mass. wher we spent $120,000 on the event and lost $40,000 mostly because our compitision did not care to be staight edge or abour saftey ran 8 parties around us.
We were not going to compromise our standards and we could boast that in evrything we did no one ever was hurt at the event.
We ended our shows. Scott continued to DJ but was pursuing other thing which were more sophisticated.
I enjoyed all my time with him all while doing my thing at the Health Depatment and having at least one mentally disable person living with me. And I also started to go back to a church any church, especially a stuggling eposcopal chuch in North Stamford with a gay priest.

I am ready to go now

Yesterday I had the most energy since being here - I am ready to go.
I can't see right yet, but it is better everyday.
I still am not swallowing properly, but also is normalizing, but I don't know if I could control what I ate yet, so maybe a few more days.
I still get a fever, but I am not finished with the IV antibiotics, Okay so we let them finish.
he worst/best thing is last night and today I have been coughing up stuff. It hurts, but it really is a positive.
I still can't walk without a walker, but I coud do that on my own without help, just need the walker at first.
I had so little energy before that none of these thoughts were possible, falling asleep midsentence.

one thing to remember about St. Lukes is that there was only a core of 12 people running the programs, the priest from the 3 churches were not involve that way and the people of the neighborhood were involved in the places of their interest(no fault there, just reality) And the volunteers coming in from other chuches came at their convience (If there was a heavy snow on a thursday, that dinner woulf not arrive), And other volenteers came at a whim and when they realized that it was really work, many left.
We were there 7 years and the episcopal church decided it needed clergy to take over and we were asked to leave and we did.
They changed the name to St Lukes Community services, got lots of paid staff, left at 5, shut the neighborhood programs down and not only did not talk about us laying any kind of foundation, they denied we were ever there.
We all were hurt and bitter at first, but we let it go and that took time, we each greived in our own way, we did not work down their for us.
My self I usually stuff anger down and blow up at the wrong people at some time, I think I mostly just stuffed it down and nevef wanted to see the inside of a church again.
Most of the core people in the community stayed as a community, tho some went ther own way which was good for all of us.
Frank went to Family Centers to work with housing for mentally disable people. I continued working with the state mental heath association one might a week and of course the health department.
My parents came to visit. And I got to show them CT, then they moved to colorado after my dad retired.

all in all today feels like a good day.

So I guess the reallity is, I am anxious, I have been here too long and remember much to little of it. Sometimes it seems like a dream, somethings it just is not there. I wnat to go home to my garden and family and pets. i gave it all up for this time, now it is coming soon to have it back. But tonight I am getting really tired again and sleep will come quickly, before 9.

Good night all

More new days

Do I get anxious or board while here?

Yes I get anxious, they are doing tests, but don't have answers to where the fever came from...they have one bug, but it is not a clear answer. And the fever seems to lead to some messed up day time dreams and loss of energy and need to sleep. It maintains some level of confuson as to how long I will be here.

Where does that faith that I keep talking about cone in?

Noone ever promised it would ever be easy, any time any where - not Jesus, not Buda not any of the great Eastern thinkers nor any of the great american indian religions, none of them.

I actually think that if some one thought or said it would be easy, I would run, not walk away. I will also quickly say that I know I am like everyone else, I want the easyway out. And in this stay I gave that up at the begining.

Board? never, my life has never been board and even with my 'life' stopped dead in its tracks, I am not board. I can think of others, I can pray, I can try to peek at what God is doing and be mystified in a wonferful way cause I am not afraid.



When, I left off, I was an offical member of St John's Episcopal chuch and of course The community of St Lukes. EVERYTHING EXPRESSED IS STRICKLY MY OWN RECOLECTION OF A JOURNEY, NOT DISSIMILAR TO THE JOURNEY i AM ON NOW OR THE JOURNEY FROM HOUsTON THE STAMFORD.



More people came to help out in the ministries at St. Lukes and I do not remember the sequence of how they happened. A food co-op was formed for the neigborhood and we would go down to Hunts point once a week and buy things by the case and resell it at a 10% mark-up. People came and this got big. A small fee to join and people would come in and help setup and help sell and help clean up! It was exciting because it was something that was for people that was not an 'emergency' situation. There was also a free food pantry for those who really did not have that was also used alot. I loved working with the food coop, even getting up at 3 in the morning to go down to Hunts' point, where all these gruff dock workers wood guide us into the thins we should and should not buy and it wasn't always the cheapest, but they had a sespect for 'the church' and us and we had trust that they would guide us right. Mostly we brought back fruits and vegtables and learned about new fruits, the mango for instance, I had not seen before. we bought things that the people requested and then we expandend to cheeses. It was an incredible experience from start to finish, which was about 6 at Vakencias backery with a turniver and coffee. We unloaded and I went of to work and if I was a little late I would bring some fruit for everyone and work through lunch. I would get back in time to finish off the selling and clean up. t was wonderful.

A clothing exchange was set=up where again donations came in and we and helpers from the neighborhood would sort the good from the washable from the garbage. And agains we would sell bags of clothing the sameday we had the co-op.

Why sell? Weren't these people in need? Yes they were very much in need, but you want to preserve their dignity and if they pay even 10 cents for something, ther is a feeling of it being yours, not someones hand-me down. And if you volunteer at the place you bought it, It brings a whole new meaning to the word "Ownership".

The people in the neighborhood realized we were part of the neighborhood and we got respect for that.

Some people joined the services, and that was nice, but that was really not why we were ther (do not tell the episcopal church), The services were for ourselves.

The once despised summer camp became a highly respected one. Some other chuch members came in, some understanding... some not. Volunteers from other parts of the world (Japan and germany, I remember) came. One of the neigborhood children adopted us and particularly Frank. Things were good and then we started working with the stse mental health section to see if we couldn't work with that group of disabled people. We rented a house and started with 3 men, who were delightful, ut truely troubled.

Somewhere the donation end and food co-op end becane so big, that we rented a truck and then bought a van. We started to get furniture and that when through the clothing exchane. I remember working with the workfare people, who many were having alhocol problems, but they would come give completely, working hard. Going away with some food and the proper number of hours completed for a week. That was good.

Chuches would come in on Thursday nights to provide meals to the residents ofthe shelter and the volunteers(us too, remember this was done without a paycheck).

In all of this I won't claim any more than the grunt work portion, it really was Frank's vision and energy and dynamics that brough it all together and he and the executive secratary were the only peroson recieving a small salary. Me I got to learn what a ripe mango was, from one of the neighbor at the food co-op.

Things were not easy and there were many struggles, but we got through them.

There were some blackdays, one where I was involved with someone I shouldn'y have been, where I got to see how rathful the fundamentalist mind could be, Frank and Marie and Walter stood behind me and fought for me in that one.

Then Penny contracted(?) leukemia and died after only a very little bit. Then we saw how little the church in general really cared about us, cause they would not provide other volunteers so thst we could morn or take a day off for reflection or rememberance.



By this time I had been at the Health Department for several years, the environmental company had changed my results from some of my testing in a report to the parent company. I complained and was told the change was insignificant. I left and several years later the parent company folded over that misinformation - not too significant.

I had managed to reconsile with my parents and had even made a surprise visit to them in Houston, I had also deeply bonded with Frank's Father who was in his late 70's. We would go out to different diners amd places in the area ust to go out and have a bit of fun. Stamford was not on our list of having fun, Sleepy Hollow was, Mistic was, Rhode Island was. Sometimes the ice cream place by west beach was, mameroneck many times was. Sorry Stamford, you don't make the grade even for old people.

Public health was wonderful and terrible at the same time. I was brought in because of the applicants, I was the only one with experience in environment testing. My ranking in the testing was 4. So i got to learn the ropes, then I started changing things and learning things and I would make a couple of mistakes, mostly because in the winter and early spring we were not busy and it left me with too much time on my hands.

They sent me to an entomolegy class and a pool chemistry class and a class on running the blood machines, then they gave me a computer.

Slowly we turned up the volume on the environmental testing, I starting getting samples from local environmental groups, talked with the Noth Stamford association and got poeple interested in testing their wells. I started expanding the kinds of testing we were able to do and let my curiosity go wild. My boss encouraged all of this and now there is no down time (here this city residence) for me, just busier times. And no there is no way the person that is left and my boss can add to what they do either, so what I used to do is no longer occuring.

So todays dark news is that they still don't know the infection source, that the vanco didn't immediately fix it is also ther concern. They also found a small spot in the lungs, which makes them wonder if I am aspirating "things" anyway. They still have some tests pending and another one to do...and may be more because my hemoglobin has dropped significantly.
some of these might explain the crazy loss of energy I have been experiencing suddenly with no warning. I am not worried about the vanco - I don't care what antibiotic it is, things take time, we aren't spraying chlorox on the bacteria. The lung thing is a bit worring because I do not want to go through he forced cough therapy to clear it...it would hurt to much. The hemoglobin thing has me the most worried, cause I have never experienced low hemoglobin and tho it explains a lot, it is something new and I really do not waant to deal with any more 'new' things of this naature.

So read in peace all. Hope the randomization from the hospital bed give some insight in the person JoeyK

Each new day

Has been better, but if i would look at yesterday vs today, it wiuld be worse. Why?
I am more discombobulate and confused, a few more tremors and no more clear vision. Am I worried? Not at all, becaue it is better than the day before, I seemed to have lost the fever with medicine change and hae foud the current management of the headache effective.
If I looked a week ago, I would not recognize me because there is such a great change.
Reality tho, I am still completely disabled at this time.
When I came to Stamford, in 1977, I came for a spiritual quest which I did not understand. Frank and Marie came for one they did inderstand and form them the area was mostly barren. Not saying people are not spiritual, just the way of being, your spirituality, was not first.
Finding people to understand what was wanted at St. Luke's was even harder. We did not want t be to whities who came in and did what thet thought would help and then go home to the safety of our middle class homes at night.
Walter and his wife, the german, Bob, Penny, Jill and myself moved into the building as it was still being changed...The neighbothood noticed. Two sisters who lived a couple of streets away came down and started helping, An organist from down the streets helped with services.
Several people in the beat up homes across the street, who did not and some who did came over. Some people from some of the oversight clergy's home churches came, Episcopal, in Greenwich, Old Greenwich and Darien and they spent much of their free time with us. With Frank ,Marie and their son, this was the initial communitty of St Lukes.
An Emergency Shelter for agencies to refer people to, a clothing exchange (think person to person) for the neigborhood, The large emergency shelter for the red cross to use was functional, but not a full reality yet.
The chapel had services again and the summer camp had some respect..but there was a lot more to come.
If I told you we came to perfect harmony each time, or even most of the time, it would be a lie. That most of us had to continually struggle with out ideas being the best or our way being the best was the truth. That we tried to substitute our ideas with what we believed together as real and would be the best for the people in the neighborhood was a struggle.
I may add more to this but I now need to rest.