Tuesday, July 26, 2011

On Stamford - The Scap metal "thing"

I do not do much posting on Stamford any more
First, i think Stamford is a boring little town with a weird attitude
Second, i find its politics trite, mean spirited and confusing.
The scrap metal "thing" is a good example to me.
In the trade "Building and equipment maintenance), the common practice is to use what is discarded in a rebuild and use it for the employees benefit (lunch, coffee, etc).   This i get from tradesmen in the industry NOT associated with the city.
The amount is too small to do much else (even though copper is really priced high now).
Remember, many of these trades persons also work in or for corporations, they also get bonuses and significant tips and office parties (even in these tough times and note so do all those bankers who had to get bailed out by us).
As a city employee, I get no bonuses, no merit raises and any "tip" is limited to a value under $50 (even at Christmas).
Any office party is held out of the office, on our own time and at our own expense.
Someone wants to make a big deal.
Now granted any small business owner, who works for himself and or has only an employee or two, has not enjoyed any of the comforts the corporate boys get and have been suffering during this time and i can understand why they get upset, why should anyone get what they can not.  but even they, if they have a customer base do get certain "extras" from their customers (hey, i have been there also).
I still think this is misplaced anger over having to bail out the really rich people, who still partied on all of our backs!
I can think of many other things to get mad at...
btw, did you know that the quasi-empire called the WPCA has had holiday parties every year (except last year) at our expense, they bill you directly now and you can not even deduct that fee!

Monday, July 25, 2011

neighborhood

The Italian and the Greek,

or at least part Greek.

Houses in the middle of the block, facing each other.

Both green with vegetables.

Both brilliant with flowers.

Each sharing and teaching others how to do the same.
What a neighborhood!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Summer day, 2011

I bump into the benches and trip over the tables.

It is time to go home,

to leave the cold office where the lab is.

I do not like such cold.

I am half way home before the cold from the lab wears off.

i begin to feel the heat

and i like it.

I forget about the day and the work as i walk.

As i walk past the river a breeze begins to blow

and i smile.

It refreshes me, even tho it is  hot breeze,

everything is hot today.

i still do not complain,

it feels good for my soul.

i continue past, the fenced in and closed park.

The park is beautiful, natural, green.

Full of summer flowers and life.

Trees spread a comfortable shade.

They say it is not complete.

I do not want to know what they think of as "complete".

It is beautiful now.

Do they think their concrete can improve on the lush grasses?

i doonot know what they think,

i just want to lay in the grass
and feel the breeze
and the sun
and the shade from the trees.

i reach home, tired,

not from the walk, that was almost refreshing,

but from the work and the strain my eyes face daily

in the cold lab.



My eyes are rested after a short nap and i go outside.

A breeze is blowing, but few others stir,

'cept the trio of giant wasps, playing tag among the roses.

i try to get a picture, but they are too fast.

Most of the plants are thriving in the heat, but i have killed the rosemary again.

The hardy plant, in summer, winter and spring, i have managed to kill.

Others , delicate plants, live and thrive...i doonot know.

The wind picks up and wasps are playing still.

Iced coffee and a cup of gazpacho from garden vegetables keep me company.

Life...
it is good.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

This sunday

I have definitely been caught up in "things to do", but my internal and external struggles are still very real.
I sometimes find a lack of motivation to tackle something and then find i can still do it when i get up that courage.


My garden gives me hours of pleasure and work, but it is worth it.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

New Glasses

They are without the Fresnel add ons, so are regular prisms.
Everything is much clears and yet there is a distortion that i can not describe.
I can not go back to the old glasses, because it was like looking through milk glass.
Now transferring between reading glasses and these is nigh impossible - i do not have a clue.
So disappointing....

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Hope

The garden calls me and i always answer.

Today, it asked for a small trimming.
I was tired,
worn out,
discouraged,

 but i answered.

Neighbors passing, stop and talk and each voice i hear, not a feeling of pity for me, because of the struggles with my eyesight, but of awe.

Awe?

I ponder and i am told it is because of my courage.
I am in awe.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Ghosts in my head.

They beckon to me, but do not have malice.

They float through my dreams and make me tremble.

They are not what you think, tho my mom and dad are there.

They are friends and lovers from the past,

Paths not taken and me.

The me “before”.

I am not sure I can believe what they say.

That it is good I am alive.

That what is happening is for the best.

I lose sleep from them interfering in my despair and confusion.

“You live they say”.

I am the one unsure of what is living or not.

Sleep comes quickly and then it is interrupted by these ghosts

Who waif through the air as if nothingness is their very being.

But I do know better, for they have real substance and their words have weight.

And my life continues.