Facing Fears – Real and unreal

Every day I walk to work,

As I walk, I face my fears.

Some are real –

Those of making a mistake that could leave me burned or poisoned or electrocuted or infected.

Those are real fears because of the nature of my work…

So I must be careful and cautious

and not let the tyranny of the urgent affect how I approach what I do.

The there is the fear of approaching something that is new or I do not remember doing before,

That is a different fear and not totally rational because deep down,

I know I can do almost anything.

That fear paralyzes me and makes me afraid,

But I find I keep on going and face it squarely.

The Dream

There was a war on and a large city was besieged.


When it fell, I found myself back o my old street, where I grew up.

I met the son of the king who was the victor, for the king had died in the battle.

I apparently, was the song of the other king, who had also died, but apparently not in battle.

The son and I talked and after a while we said to each other, we could have been friends, if it had not been for this war, for we had much in common.

I said, “We should still be friends.” And so it was.

I then find my self in the house where I grew up.

It was cluttered and a bit disheveled. Half of shoe of my dad’s was lying around.

I found myself on the front porch and there was a plant box, long dried out.

As I poured water on it, dust rose up as it does when the dirt is really dry.

There were dried up cactus in the box and I believed they would come back to life.

I was alone in the house, but it looked the same as when I was growing up.

Did not want to be alone in this house, but I was.

The Garden spring 2011

 We are 3 weeks ahead and have already experienced summer-type weather, but today it is back to spring with a coolness surrounding the yard.

A green wall now surrounds my quiet space on our front porch.

We were going to close it in, but this living wall is much better.

This is my place of quiet...

 

 Our borders are kept safe by a wall of roses,
briefly the small wild white ones take over the neighborhood with their scent.

 The Rose and the bleeding heart are some of those treasures we find...

There is a garden this early spring, with vegetables becoming ready.

And in the quiet shade, a calalilly prepares its blossoms, with a rose to encourage them.

For Erin:  I have not forsaken your blog, but i am unable to post due to some technical glitch.

comparative loss

over the last 2 1/2 years, i have been dealing with the loss of a portion of my physical well being.
over the last 2 months, i have been dealing with the death of my moth.
What has been surprising to me is just how similar the emotions in each is.
Although i was told by people knowledgeable in such things, i could not comprehend such a thing until it happened.
The initial shock and then bewilderment and then slowly doing what you must to go on.
The most surprising of the similarities though, is just how much the needs of living in this world interfere with the full recovery of both.
You simply must do certain things in order to continue and of course this includes, but is not limited to , work.
I think i am becoming resentful that i must still do this.