I have not been doing a lot of blogging lately, some is simple interference by the weather, it is too beautiful to stay inside.
Other - I have been more tired and doing more, which my or may not make sense.
I have finished with one set of doctors - they said i needed to rest my shoulder now for it to get better.
I have been hearing that a lot lately, rest.
And I have had to.
Today I go to the eye doctor and am a bit anxious to hear what she has to say.
there are things i need her to do.
My life does seem to be on a precipice and i am trying not to look down, only up.
It is not easy.
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Days
I have spent too many days crying for the things i do not have,
the things I did not need.
Too few days have I spent laughing for the things giv'n,
those things precious to my heart, for my soul.
Those things with wings and a life of their own,
which give to me all that I need.
Laugh then and smile for life is here now,
the things I did not need.
Too few days have I spent laughing for the things giv'n,
those things precious to my heart, for my soul.
Those things with wings and a life of their own,
which give to me all that I need.
Laugh then and smile for life is here now,
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Circles and Walls
I for whatever reason, have just realised that I have a series of "walls and circles" when it comes to people.
I think most people have them and I am sure that many people realize it, I did not.
When I first meet a person they are either brought inside a wall or left out side. If I think they have a certain level of trust or I think they might be trustworthy they are brought in. This is like a test ground and they might learn some superficial things about me, but it is a wait and see type of thing. I can like them and even care about what happens to them, but do not talk about love or try to be too pushy, they will find themselves on the outside quickly.
As trust begins to build (and time seems less important than activity), I actually test them by telling them about me. I do not necessarily like myself in all aspects, but I do have respect for what I have done. Not everyone would agree.
If that does not scare them off, I begin to trust them and they come into the next level. There is a lot of respect for those people from me and I would do almost anything for them. If they do not make it to this level, they can stay comfortably at the first level.
Then there are those with whom my trust level is so deep they can say almost anything to me and I to them and it will not change the bond, I learn the most from these people.
They are my partners in my life and its path.
I am often surprised at the number of people at these levels, 8 at the deepest level. 4 at the next deepest level level. Many at the second level and the first level constantly changes.
You who read this blog are privileged to learn my mind and heart because I am basically working things out in word as I write, enjoy the ride!
I think most people have them and I am sure that many people realize it, I did not.
When I first meet a person they are either brought inside a wall or left out side. If I think they have a certain level of trust or I think they might be trustworthy they are brought in. This is like a test ground and they might learn some superficial things about me, but it is a wait and see type of thing. I can like them and even care about what happens to them, but do not talk about love or try to be too pushy, they will find themselves on the outside quickly.
As trust begins to build (and time seems less important than activity), I actually test them by telling them about me. I do not necessarily like myself in all aspects, but I do have respect for what I have done. Not everyone would agree.
If that does not scare them off, I begin to trust them and they come into the next level. There is a lot of respect for those people from me and I would do almost anything for them. If they do not make it to this level, they can stay comfortably at the first level.
Then there are those with whom my trust level is so deep they can say almost anything to me and I to them and it will not change the bond, I learn the most from these people.
They are my partners in my life and its path.
I am often surprised at the number of people at these levels, 8 at the deepest level. 4 at the next deepest level level. Many at the second level and the first level constantly changes.
You who read this blog are privileged to learn my mind and heart because I am basically working things out in word as I write, enjoy the ride!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Lots happening
Yea, there will probably be a couple of posts today.
After finishing my quick painting the other day, i figured it would be time to try something else. In our house we try to share the housework, with most of the cleaning being done by the person with the most time at home. Previously that has been David, but before my last incident, I was begining to pick up some of the things that i needed to do. So yesterday I decided it was time to try to sweep and mop the kitchen and sweep down the basement stairs. Okay I did do them, but it depleted my entire enrgy reserve and I had a real tough time with it. No incidents, but nap I did. So my perception that i had all this energy was mistaken and I will take it easy. Of course I was doing this cause no one was home, everyone was working and I felt I had to be useful. i think I will stick to blogging for a while.
After finishing my quick painting the other day, i figured it would be time to try something else. In our house we try to share the housework, with most of the cleaning being done by the person with the most time at home. Previously that has been David, but before my last incident, I was begining to pick up some of the things that i needed to do. So yesterday I decided it was time to try to sweep and mop the kitchen and sweep down the basement stairs. Okay I did do them, but it depleted my entire enrgy reserve and I had a real tough time with it. No incidents, but nap I did. So my perception that i had all this energy was mistaken and I will take it easy. Of course I was doing this cause no one was home, everyone was working and I felt I had to be useful. i think I will stick to blogging for a while.
Monday, December 15, 2008
This is me
Seems that my progress is going. I get to see my doctors at the end of the week to tell me how I really am doing, but things feel right. I have been keeping a patch on my eye and switching it regularly so by all perspectives, I am seeing single. Except when I take the patch off - the everything is double. My strength is good, but endurance (or energy) is not. I started some small walks down the street and that seems good. Longer walks I will have someone with me. I actually feel like I am starting from a point before I was first released, but now it feels that I am on the correct path. I have had friends stop by and that has been good. I will keep you guys informed as things progress along the adventure.
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