A Friday

a gentle rumble of thunders,

lulls me out of sleep.

A sound of a garbage truck,

come to my ear.

I spring up out of bed,

knowing we had not put out the trash and recycling.

Knowing it was Tuesday.

Sleep falls off

and i stumble down the stairs.

No glasses on to make things single,

i close one eye and make it down,

open the door

and there is the local paper on the porch.

I stop.

The paper only come, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

"What day is this?", my brain screams.

It is Friday, i suddenly recount.

I turn and shut the door.

My other housemate,

who drinks coffee has a cup in his hand in the kitchen.

He is up for other reasons,

he still works.

It is only 5:30 in the morning,

much too early for me to be awake.

I mumble something

and he mumbles back,

a friendly exchange,

but neither of us is awake enough to do much else.

I stumble back up the stairs

and fall back into my bed.

It is only an hour later

and i am awake again.

The time is better

and i make my way carefully down the stairs again,

for coffee.

i am not going to drink what was made a 5:30

and left to burn and become bitter,

so i turn on the quick one.

I still can not think,

everything is rattled and confused,

but that is normal now for me.

Pod loaded into the machine,

blinking blue lights tell me i can brew.

I push the steady green light

and shut off the machine.

Waiting for a moment,

i do not know why the coffee is not pouring out.

I sigh,

a thing that is normal for me now,

i realize i shut the machine off

and turn it back on.

Coffee in hand,

i carefully make my way up the stairs again,

holding onto both the coffee cup

and the railing for dear life.

Setting the cup down,

i retreat back on the bed,

sitting up, i begin to sip the black brew,

pray for those around me,

i ask for direction for the day.

Somewhere, i remember again to be thankful,

for each day is precious.

The cup is empty and it is time for me to begin my normal routine.

My glasses lay some where,

but i can not put them on just yet.

I find T-shirt and over shirt,

holding them close to my face,

so i can make out a bit of detail,

them put them on.

I look for the glasses.

The dresser has become too cluttered

and even closing one eye does not help much.

I stand there half dressed

and there is some panic that begins to creep in,

until i find them and they are placed on my face.

The world is a bit clearer now

and more importantly, single.

The two images that i now see as a normal course of being,

the images which overlap are very confusing,

and are way too much for me to handle.

The remainder of my clothes come out of closets and drawer

and i assemble them on my body.

"The morning meds!", i exclaim out loud.

Often i miss them when things different than a routine happen.

It is not dangerous to miss them,

but missing the allergy pill can make my life really difficult, quickly.

The blood sugar test is next,

it has been so good lately

and i am upset when it comes back a high number.

Often, when placing the needle in the device i use to stick my self,

i prick my finger when closing the top,

that is because i really can not tell depth with the glasses.

Morning routine finished,

i amble down the stairs,

more alert and confident, with the glasses,

but i won't yet call myself fully awake.

My housemate is ready to leave for work

and we exchange some information and he leaves.

I sit down to the computer

and as i type,

a surge of energy comes into my body and mind

and i am awake.

just life

I am glad I let Kevin post. Hearing his daughter's story many times brought me to tears.
He and his daughter have been fighting a valiant fight and they are some of the people I draw my courage from.
Now I go back to daily living and work because Friday was a tough one.
Some where in the midst of Government, I have been declared their expert in well water issues. They may be right, but all it does is bring floods of calls so I can barely do my regular work.
There obstacles that do make my head quite literally spin. I was grabbing a lot of furniture on Friday. I left cooking to David tonight, I was too tired.
It was cool today (36 F in the morning), but warmed to 60 in the afternoon. Fall is coming and I can see the reds beginning on the trees. Soon I will be clearing the garden, Oh and yes I do work this weekend also.

A day in the Life of the Laboratory

This is going to be a boring post. For those who were ever curious about what it means to work at the lab, today is your day!
I am going to give a blow by blow account of just what it is I am doing. It has been on my mind a while, so much so, I thought I had done a post on it already.
I had a friend give me a ride today and i was glad she called because it was raining out and I hate walking in the rain.
This also means I get in early and I am used to that.
I wait to swipe in (yes we have what is known as a "Kronos" Card something developed because some citizens of this town do not trust its employees to work a full day...if they only knew...), doing mundane things like turning on my computer and reading temperatures a various refrigerators and incubators. I swipe in and proceed to process some samples that came in that I knew could wait yesterday: a report of a person being bitten by something he could not see, so he brings whatever on brown sticky tape all waded up (this is the third time). I take my time, looking through a stereoscope, unfolding the tape with gloves on, but there is nothing again.
I can look through the stereoscope without my glasses, but have to put them on to unfold the tape.
Then a sample I was not satisfied with, brought in by the police complaining of bites at work in the office. Found out as I was leaving yesterday that there are birds nests in the building . I had originally tentatively identified it as a larval tick because it appeared to have 6 legs, but mouth parts were missing. It was captured on scotch tape and was still alive. This time I used the microscope to determine that the 2 things stuck out in front that made it look like a tick, were actually legs. Ah a bird mite! Everyone was so anxious to know yesterday that they ran with a "probably a larval tick" from my verbal statement as I am leaving to go home yesterday. I really do not care. The official report will go out.
The environmental inspector that works with the lab the most (mostly beach, pool and shellfish samples) comes in a tells me what the official rain is overnight.
A phone call comes in from a person in a neighboring town with a mysterious thing happening with his well water. i listen, make an assessment and give a probable answer. I do not think it has anything to do with the well, but rather a "dead" pipe in his house.
A water sample comes in from Stamford, they are worried because they are in some vicinity of Scofield Park. I have to assure them that if there is a problem in the first set of the problems near their house, we will look at it, but houses between theirs and the park have been clean.
Log in the sample and prepare to do some of the work.
Prepare 4 samples brought in from Norwalk harbor, these are interesting samples to me because Norwalk has one of the most difficult treatment plants to manage and these samples may show how difficult. Most of the work was already done on them yesterday (sample holding time and testing is actually critical), but what I am doing today tests a theory that Art Glowka (The Patron Saint of Long Island Sound, look him up) brought to me.
Standardize the pH meter (Every instrument gets verified the day of use to prove to me it is working correctly). Then I read the pH and do an alkalinity measure on the sample that came in first thing.
Another phone call with 2 issues, swine flu and Lyme disease testing and treatment. I listen and give all the info I know of and end up reassuring the person that things are not to panic over. It seems to happen often.
It is now 9:30 Am, I have been working a bit over an hour and a half. It is time for a break.
No partner again today, I believe she may be sick and I hope it is not a problem with her mother. I go down to the cafeteria for 15 minutes and close my eyes while having coffee and a danish.
Time to read the bacteria plates from yesterday's Norwalk Harbor samples, 12 plus a positive and negative control for each organism (4). Each organism is grown differently and each colony represents one organism from the original sample and each is different. I record them and realize that I have not recorded the insect samples that came in yesterday and do so.
I am now setting up for 4 more tests; Chlorides, nitrate-nitrogen, nitrite-nitrogen and phosphate. The well sample has all of them since the person is worried about fertilizer getting into the well. The Norwalk Harbor samples will only have the chloride test done, but I have to dilute 100 fold.
Each test has a blank and a standard, one duplicate sample and a "standard addition" to a sample to assure everyone I am doing thing correctly. This is for the chloride test (it is a titration).
The nitrate, nitrate and phosphate test are colorimetric tests check using a spectrophotometer and I must set up a "line" of known standards to verify my work, a minimum detectable standard, a standard in the mid range, a high range standard and a standard at the maximum level readable.
Another sample comes in, just for bacteria though and that goes in the refrigerator waiting its turn.
What about my coworkers you ask? Well the office support person is doing "Front desk" duty for the health department and so is not in the lab, The clinical chemist is at a "well child clinic" taking blood samples and my lab director is at a Department head meeting. So I am alone.
Another person comes into the lab. they have to wait till I finish setting thing up.
They want sample containers to test their well for possible bacteria. That was quick.
Another phone call wanting to know is we are interested in a skunk that died on a persons front porch. I have to tell him it would only be if some one were exposed to the saliva of the skunk that we would get involved and then i tell him how to dispose of it.
Some tests have time constraints and I start running those before anything else happens.
I need to input thing into the computer. All the database are in access and i created them. Often I see something that could be improved and do so. Today was no exception and into the VBA code I go and fix things up nice and tidy.
Print a report from bacteria tests i read today on a well and put it on the office support person's desk for later mailing.
Rad all my values on the tests I am doing a put them into a log book. Later i will enter them and get results for each sample.
Another call from a neighboring town. Today they are bringing me only 2 samples, the rest i find out later they will send up to the state lab (maybe they got mad that i rejected those unannounced samples last week). That is okay. Nitrite and phosphate tests are done, Now i get to Wait for a cadmium reduction column to change the nitrate in the samples to nitrite, so i can read them, this is a slow process. I enter raw data so i can get my results on the other tests.
After the nitrate test I bring out the plates for the neighboring beach samples so they can warm up.
I read our own beach plates from yesterday and need to confirm 2 samples because they may have high enterococcus values. i doubt it because there are no fecal coliforms from the samples, this will take 20 more minutes.
I set up my lab ware to be washed. There was a time that we would get interns, not this year. They were always very smart and needed experience, not money. Many (14, I think) went on to become doctors and the like (one even had an experiment on the shuttle)! The girls (too young to be called women) were alweays cute and the boys respectful. i think they all learned something.
And then I set up things that needed to be sterilized.
Restocked my sample bottle supply for the from of the lab.
I read the last of the E. coli plates from the Norwalk Harbor samples and enter the results.
I enter the titration results and print the report. This was incoming tide and it is interesting, outgoing should be really interesting.
The neighboring town's samples come in and I have a few moments to discuss the issues about this set of samples. They might show more of what we found out last week and i am curious.
I det them up and run them with positve and negative conteols and a blank and a split sample.
By this time I am beginning to fade, it is 1:00 PM and everyone has been back from their various outside duties, but it is time for lunch, I am alone again.
This actually was a slow day, some where I was able to get into a discussion on e mail about problems from a sewage spill at a fresh water lake. i had to call to get my certification standard tests' cost and then submit a order. My eye sight issues cost the City an additional $700 from me initially not being able to read numbers correctly (when i was pushing myself too much at the beginning). I got a call form Perkin-Elmer about the replacement costs of an instrument I desperately need to do metals work (the machine died last year and we just got budget money for it). They e mailed the quote, about $50,000. The first machine I went to New Jersey with a friend and got it for free, but it was old and it died last year.
Our Emergency management person came and asked for a copy of the article I just had published in the Journal of Environmental Health. it was 2:00 PM, I was swaying, it was time to go home and rest.

One more time

They tried again today. they tried to take control of my work space. By 9 Am,I was being hit with just about every demand I could have at work. I took a deep breath and they waited. The phones rang and they went into voice mail, People came in and they waited. I finished one thing at a time and then went on to the next. i could tell that made people unhappy, they had to deal. One meeting, a question came out that was so dumb I told the person they would not be allowed to sample on the spot in front of everyone else.
Taking it slow helped, I stayed longer than ever since a year ago (in a few weeks).
I came home and slept, it was good.
Things are looking up.

Strange Days

Today was one and I did not realize how appropriate till I looked up what the 1995 movie was about.
First, only one person tried to run me down on the way to and from work. Most days it is many (give me a paint ball gun will you now Stamford Talk)!
Then i stayed at work until 2 PM (from 8 AM) - another good thing!
There was a employees meeting (with the mayor and Ben Barnes) about the new recycling program, where there is a lot more stuff that can be recycled! I like this a lot!
I got to work on the samples from the gradual outflow from the Greenwich treatment plant, through the harbor and that was fun.
Now for the Strange Days association - As I am walking home on the corner of Washington and Main, I guy says it looks like you are in pain (I was) and was actually seeming to be nice about it and then asks me if I want some Percocets!
Drug dealers on the main thoroughfare!
It got Stranger!
For months I had been dreading meeting the lady who dumped me 2 weeks after being in the hospital. I thought of how i would deal with her, what i would say etc... I was NOT going to be nice.
She comes out of the Polish deli and says Hi and all that meanness was not there. I could not be mean and we a had reasonable conversation. She still looks good and I am not interested, but it is not in my nature to be mean. So much for being a Scorpio.
We will see how the rest of the day goes.

What a day

The whole of Stamford and Darien was out to get me today!
Because of the work, I could not leave until 2 PM and I really needed to leave at 1:30.
There is no one else to do the work and it is important for everyone's health.
It is something I need to work on, but I do not see my options.
Things are breaking open tho...I have to wonder if my dad is around whispering in my ear about all that weirdness feelings, he was the financial wizard, but the feeling really have nothing to do with money.
It all has to do with attitude. If you look at the stock market it is run by a few forces, one is greed and we all know about that, it usually gets us no where fast, especially our spiritual part.
Then there is the other portion which is either hope or the lack of it. Hope infiltrates people and "powers" and creates a better attitude. The lack of it creates despair. Hope defeats a lot of evil.
When the "tea party expose'" broadcast from comedy central, I laughed and felt sorry for those deluded people, who seemingly where happier that already rich, greedy people took their savings, but it was not okay to help the "least of these", the ones who were losing the little they had. Strange attitude.
So Ricardo and Matthew, don't get your money hopes up, but hope is looking up and it might help in that area also.

The final is a picture especially for Libby, the weeds in the picture are catnip, which took over a large part of the garden. The neighborhood cats are happy, but i am not! It seems that catnip is actually harder to get rid of than pernicious mint, which at least has a purpose for me and can be enjoyed by me.

I laugh

At all the crazy things in my life.
The eyesight (not mine, cause mine is coming soon) drives me crazy as it tries to hang on. Thursday was a difficult day with it, the left eye muscle has been twitching off and on for over 2 weeks and it moves my already difficult vision to new heights of confusion.
The funny thing, i think, believe, that it just means i am getting better.
More often i can not use the glasses early morning and so i leave them off for up to an hour.
I hung in till 1 PM at work, but barely. I was swaying and needed to hold on to things to keep my balance, often.
I started to walk home and a friend saw me and gave me a ride. That was very welcome. I crashed for 2 hours.
I had dreams that night that woke me, all the difficulties that i am working with, the things that do not look like they are working out. I had meditative music on, but it was not helping. Anxiousness was creeping in. I switched the music to something I call "survival". I know this will not work for everyone, but for me it has great meaning. It is music from a Community Episcopal Church i knew of in Houston. The church is now a "normal" church, but during the time they were a Community they did a lot of good in the town for those who did not have. I kept that portion of the life they believed and their music. The anxiousness left.
Friday turned into a much better day and stayed longer.
Part of the reason is that we had an influx of ticks to send off for testing and a lot of questions at the end of my day. The hysteria around Lyme disease is not totally unwarranted, but early treatment always works. I have to deal with doctors not following CDC guidelines and refusing to treat even when a patient exhibits symptoms. Once patients have the right info, the doctors always respond correctly. I also never worry so much about the ticks they bring in. I welcome testing them because I want to know what is going on out there, but even a fast test ($50) will take 2 weeks to come back and it does not test the tick the people my not have found.
Symptoms are the big thing, even at the CDC. We are an endemic area for Lyme, the ticks carry it. Look for symptoms. Go to your doctor.
This is my mantra and it assures people. Gives them some kind of assurance. Maybe because i am so certain of the info. There is nothing wishy washy about what I tell them.
In the end it make me feel better, I am helping people. It gives me energy.
I felt a lot better Friday after 3 of those incidents.
Then it was beautiful out. The promised rain did not come till the morning and the sun was out.
I went with my friend grocery shopping. She talks of many problems and I listen. I offered one piece of advice, once, but there was a ready answer waiting, so I said no more. It was the same as my difficult dreams the night before. There is no fighting those things with answers or logic, they can only be fought by not fighting. I am just learning that lesson.
I grilled salmon on the barbecue for my finale. It was good. Say the "First Contact" Trek movie on TV, that was good. There is always hope in those stories. I went to bed, the music still playing on my computer, I slept well.

Back to the mundane!

I had an interesting day.
It started with me forgetting my cane!
I was have way to work when I had a bit of a disorientation and realized I did not have my cane in hand!
It was kind of strange because on normal flat surfaces I usually do not need it at all and inside there are enough things to grab on to that it isn't needed either, but the walk is not flat.
However it is familiar and I decided I would do the rest of the distance without it and there were NO incidences. I was a bit unnerved about going home because I am tired , but came home just fine, but was very tired. Still I will call this a good progress, even though it meant my mind is scattered (what else is new?)!
At work found another place to clean up (will it never end?!) and finally made the last of the adjustment the Journal of Environmental Health wanted for my paper submission, which will be in August, front cover.
Of course when I get home for no good reason the lenses in my glasses decided they wanted to pop out. I got them in, but John had to do the adjustments so it would not happen again.
Guess I am very lucky to have people who care around me.

Rain/ sleet/ snow?

Yes it is late April and we have quite a mix of precipitation out there.
I worked till 1 and a friend drove me home. I found out that get sick bank time might be more difficult than I wanted it to be since I am down to about 6 days and still can not work full time by any stretch of the imagination.
My Reiki Friend is undergoing a wonderful transformation herself and it is wonderful being around her.
My spirits are better, though my eyes still drive me batty. I get to go to New York, Monday to see what the doctors at SUNY optometry have to say.
So all in all not a bad day.

Progress

Yesterday was a good day and slowly i have been getting back into my old habits. Corrected some outdated VBA code at work, came home at 11:30. nut by 2 started on my painting again. All of which are simple, but very important parts of recovery. Today I was helping someone with Excel graphics. This is all positive, Then i had a friend with his partner and 4 kids over for dinner.
I do think I will take it easy tomorrow, but who knows. This is close to the life I was used to before the Adventure and it feels good.

The ups and downs of life

The last few days at work have been tough, physical demanding, lots of things to check and then there is vindication also.
The FDA vindicated my assessment of a canned product and the manufacturer is now scrambling after being a bit blase about it at first. It did create more work for me, but that was okay, this is what I love.
The real thing is that I am on no ones side. I look for what ever is real and report it.
I have gone against city policy and assessments because they were not right, I have challenged the USEPA cause they were not right.
I have helped and hurt home owners based on what ever it is that I find in a sample.
This is actually very freeing and of course it does not make me richer.
I guess I am a real pain cause I love what I do.
All I can say is that the glasses work well and I am happy.
The walk to and from work is healthy for me cause it clears my head.
Yesterday, I was really tired, the day before, down, today, good and I almost miss that I am not going in to work tomorrow.
Life is like that.

Rambling, TAXACT disparaging

Well , it figures. I must have a case of the "Uncool" jitters. My last post was suppose to go up today, but alas i hit the wrong button and it posted yesterday. So much for saving my Saturday morning, but it is okay. Today my right brain is not quite as active and i am not bursting into song and dance or verse or something like that (Anybody every watch the Buffy series? Think of season 6 - "Once more with feeling"). All is okay.
You ever try to share something really deep with someone you do not trust? I do not think it can be done or else it is done so cryptically that they do not know what you are talking about.
They, wait a minute, "they" live in Chicago and do not know squat ( a prankster changed his name officially to" they" so he could be the source of all news).
.Any way, I hear often that the most intimate thing is sharing your heart (guys, you know how hard that is even with people we are otherwise intimate with).
I think i am really fortunate in that i have a number of people who are that close.
It actually gives me a song in my heart (hey wait, I said no singing) and is one of the many things that keeps me going.
Oh yes, TaxAct on line is still insisting it is my fault, so they are off my recommendation list for Taxes and Customer service, I might e mail David Prauge or Roger Grimes about this and see who has the last laugh (They are techie column writers and no small fish)!

New Day

Before Dawn's early light,
In the predawn shadows of shades of grey and black,
All images are one and I marvel.
The sun peaks over the horizon and all is lost,
Images split and become confused.
For whatever reason, my heart swells with Joy.
It is a New day!

I know i have not talked of this before, but before there is no light and my "rods" are the only things gathering light, i see single images. Everything is in greys without color. As soon as light appears and there are color images, my sight splits up. This was completely understandable to the optometrists at SUNY, but fairly uncommon.
It makes my life interesting because for a few short minutes, i see normally, then the light comes and i am back to needing my glasses.
Some mornings, i let myself do things without the glasses, with the double vision, just to prove i am not immobile.
Today is a new day and so far things look good.

Rmblings

It seems on good days I don't really accomplish much. I had lots of energy, I was clear headed, I could see (a really important one), and I had direction.
So I got my self ready, did my morning routine and went outside. I was going to walk a bit, but I ran into a neighbor, who works at the hospital as a CNA and knows my situation. A very nice Jamaican lady who asked if i wanted company, so we walked, a bit further than I thought, but that was good. The rain/snow/whatever had not started coming down and it was a good walk.
I came back home and I was tired an didn't accomplish much of anything else except dinner.
We'll see if I get started on my next painting today.

a Good day

I was told there would be good days and bad. The day before was not so good, yesterday was good. Finishing my painting (save for the couple of minor things I will play with when I look at it again), A walk in the freezing cold to downtown Stamford and an evening when i could read the computer screen (something that has been difficult for several days at night). This meant I could do my conservatorship work last night (I volunteer to help some one with mental disabilities manage their money) and not have to work on it along with everything else this morning.
I am also getting my head ready to go back to work. The priority is getting use to using the glasses so I do not look half in the bag (and also so I do not spill anything important). Walking, eye exercises, body exercises, computer work are all part of that discipline. As my other blogger contacts and friends seem to be going through so much, I do marvel at the healing ability of blogging.
If I haven't said it before, Thanks for being here!
It is always worth repeating!

perspective

I do remember why I started so many posts in August, it was an attempt to chronicle my recovery for myself because memory sometimes fades and sometimes does not exist for this "Adventure". I believe I may be entering the end game, but doubts occur, some days are not so clear or good, some days are filled with doubt and confusion. Some days, I think I will never be without a problem, some days, I am full of hope that the end is near. There seems to be so much I am able to learn about myself during my time of reflection, prayer and meditation. I can not say that my mind is quite during those times, but I try not to guide my thoughts so I can see what is really going on.

There is an unusual aside concerning being out of work, the machine that died, the only one that allows us to do metals, is on the verge of being replaced and without it, I think I would go out of my mind. Oh, there is enough bacteria work, computer work and insect work to keep me some what occupied, but I always liked being stretched to just beyond my ability, it ensured learning and growth. I find that essential for my life.

At this time, everyday is stretched beyond my ability and I do exhaust myself regularly and that is only doing simple things. I wonder what it will be like being back in the lab, because the day is coming, but I have to be able to clean small things for more than an hour before I tire myself out. The walks with David help. The exercise, both in the morning and night, help. The small glass of somethings alcoholic before I go to bed, helps calm me and put me to sleep. The quiet time in the morning helps direct me. Eating right is helping me put an end to weight gain.

Eating right can be a chore at best.

I stopped a med, Gemfibrozil (for triglycerides and cholesterol ) because, the pill kept getting stuck in my throat and dissolving and really irritating the hell out of it. I looked at the chemical formula and saw an end acetic acid group and realized why, my doctor has something different for me. With that action and the Prevacid taken, it seems that things are getting better. There is still a tickle in the throat that will set up a coughing spell at anytime (water is particularly bad).

There are daily eye and mental exercises that stimulate me, but also tire me out.

I now can show people what I do see, with the help of the glasses and people are horrified at what I see and amazed that I am up an about.

I still love to cook, it is the precursor to being back in the lab.

My friends do not want me to be out alone, there is a real fear that what happened in December will repeat. They almost lost me that time.

I can not wait (anticipation), for the day I do not have to wear glasses, mostly because getting up and seeing the confusion from my eyes when I wake up is disconcerting at best.

I can't say I actually enjoy exploring the depths of my soul (lots of pain there), but I have been afforded a unique opportunity at this time and I am taking advantage of it.

This is my current adventure, to love and hate, at the same time.

As the keyboard holder falls apart.

Yes, that is what is happening at this moment, a screw fell out and the keyboard is bouncing a bit. The real problem, Is I heard the screw fall out, but can't see it :(! This of course is what does happen during the current part of my adventure, I still have to get used to things. On the other hand, i am thankful at how far I have come. I think all the doctors thought i would be over things by now, but some people with more wisdom have told me 1) I will get better! and 2) it will be a slow road, no quick miracles for m! That's alright, having been exposed to the "magician God" concept that plagues many fundamentalist camps, I think they can keep their concept, I am learning far more this way and thankfulness is a big part of that. My big concerns, I keep dreaming of work. Not bad dreams, just dreams of different people, good and bad, their strangeness and faults and the goodness.

Now just a quick item: some experimentation I have done in the past.
A Rainy Corner Spring in a window

Lots happening

Yea, there will probably be a couple of posts today.
After finishing my quick painting the other day, i figured it would be time to try something else. In our house we try to share the housework, with most of the cleaning being done by the person with the most time at home. Previously that has been David, but before my last incident, I was begining to pick up some of the things that i needed to do. So yesterday I decided it was time to try to sweep and mop the kitchen and sweep down the basement stairs. Okay I did do them, but it depleted my entire enrgy reserve and I had a real tough time with it. No incidents, but nap I did. So my perception that i had all this energy was mistaken and I will take it easy. Of course I was doing this cause no one was home, everyone was working and I felt I had to be useful. i think I will stick to blogging for a while.